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Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give opinion. v.1

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. v. 1
It is true that the growth of economy is a good factor for a country’s development. While some people state that economic progress can address social problems such as hunger and poverty; others believe that this development brings more harm to the environment. Personally, I completely agree with the former view for a number of reasons. On the one hand, there are several reasons why economic growth exerts a negative effect on the environment. Firstly, it is clear that revenue from companies and factories contribute considerably into national budget. As a result, there are more industrial zones constructed, which release toxic fumes into the air. Therefore, air pollution is becoming more serious and leads to environmental degradation. Secondly, the appearance of buildings requires a large amount of land and this leads to the damage on natural habitats. It is undoubted that wild habitats play a large role in the ecosystem balance. Therefore, human activities to serve for economic benefits would leave serious consequences. On the other hand, I believe that economic progress helps a country to deal with hunger and poverty. To begin with, it is clear that underdeveloped and developing countries are facing these head- aching concern due to the shortage of money. Thanks to economic growth, the government has enough money to take actions. For example, the state provides sufficient foods to rural areas for people who suffer from hunger. Moreover, the development of economy would increase the living standard of its residents. People have a chance to get a decent job in industrial zones. Thanks to the salaries earned, these people are able to be out of poverty and lead a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion, it seems to me that economic boost brings more benefits than drawbacks to a country. However, we should take appropriate actions to reduce negative impacts on the environment. Only by doing this can we live in an affluent and healthy country.
It is true that the growth of economy is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
factor for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
development. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress can address social problems such as hunger and poverty; others believe that this development brings more harm to the environment.
Personally
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former view for a number of reasons.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth exerts a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the environment.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that revenue from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and factories contribute
considerably
into national budget.
As a result
, there are more industrial zones constructed, which release toxic fumes into the air.
Therefore
, air pollution is becoming more serious and leads to environmental degradation.
Secondly
, the appearance of buildings requires a large amount of land and this leads to the damage on natural habitats. It
is undoubted
that wild habitats play a large role in the ecosystem balance.
Therefore
, human activities to serve for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
benefits would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
serious consequences.

On the other hand
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to deal with hunger and poverty. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that underdeveloped and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are facing these head- aching concern due to the shortage of money. Thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to take actions.
For example
, the state provides sufficient foods to rural areas for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who suffer from hunger.
Moreover
, the development of economy would increase the living standard of its residents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a decent job in industrial zones. Thanks to the salaries earned, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to be out of poverty and lead a healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
boost brings more benefits than drawbacks to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, we should take appropriate actions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the environment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by doing this can we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an affluent and healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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