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Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. v. 2
It is true that some people contend that economic growth is the only solution to the global problems of hunger and poverty. Others, however, argue for an end to economic growth in order to conserve our environment. I agree completely with this second view. Those who see economic growth alone as the sole cure for the tragedy of world hunger and poverty propose one major argument. Only the growth of the economies of the developing countries will provide the poor with the wealth to afford the basic necessities of life. The profits made by corporations who are responsible for this economic growth will trickle down in the form of financial benefits to be enjoyed by the starving and needy. This view has justified the age of imperialism and the destruction of the livelihood of millions in the name of progress. On the other hand, there are countless examples to support the opposing view that economic growth results in environmental destruction. Firstly, this is true for developing countries, where lowland rainforests have been cleared and unsustainable agricultural practices introduced to produce cash crops, often for export. Secondly, it is also true for developed economies. For example, the continued use of fossil fuels, which provide the energy for growing industrialisation, is causing global warming. This is leading to a rise in sea levels, which will eventually make tens of millions of poor people in Bangladesh homeless. In conclusion, economic growth which is not sustainable must be stopped. If it is not based on meeting human needs rather than generating profits, such growth will only create more poverty and lead to more hunger in the world by destroying natural resources.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to the global problems of hunger and poverty. Others,
however
, argue for an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in order to conserve our environment. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
completely with this second view.

Those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
alone as the sole cure for the tragedy of world hunger and poverty propose one major argument.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of the economies of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
will provide the poor with the wealth to afford the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of life. The profits made by corporations who are responsible for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
will trickle down in the form of financial benefits to
be enjoyed
by the starving and needy. This view has justified the age of imperialism and the destruction of the livelihood of millions in the name of progress.

On the other hand
, there are countless examples to support the opposing view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
results in environmental destruction.
Firstly
, this is true for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, where lowland rainforests have
been cleared
and unsustainable agricultural practices introduced to produce cash crops,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
for export.
Secondly
, it is
also
true for

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
developed
economies.
For example
, the continued
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fossil fuels, which provide the energy for growing
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
, is causing global warming. This is leading to a rise in sea levels, which will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
tens of millions of poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Bangladesh homeless.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
which is not sustainable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
. If it is not based on meeting human needs
rather
than generating profits, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
create more poverty and lead to more hunger in the world by destroying natural resources.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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