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Some people say that e-books and modern technology will totally replace the traditional papers and magazines. To what extent do you agree and disagree. v.2

Some people say that e-books and modern technology will totally replace the traditional papers and magazines. v. 2
I'm one of those people who agree that e-books and modern technology will totally replace the traditional papers and magazines. Using of e-books have made an avid reader like me more excited because e-books have made me go back to reading more now since it comes in handy. Portable size, can be carried where ever I want and can save as many books as I want. With the Kindle e-book, I have downloaded nearly 300 books, including those old books whose hard copy I couldn't find anywhere in the market, and it is affordable in price. With each passing day and global warming rising, saving trees have become vital, we can at least save 8-10 trees from 300 books I downloaded, so replacing of traditional papers and magazines has more of benefits especially in terms of saving our environment I believe. Using of computers like, to showcase animals, plants or other things for kids have made them more nearer to understand and enjoy it which books can not give always because kids enjoy more when shown practically. So making use of robotics to show animal or plants is good if not more usage of environmental resources might eventually lead to see those in books only. Though some might disagree and they do have valid points when they say that nothing can replace the joy of reading books or colouring the books still joy like that shouldn't harm the environment and using machinery can even make a non-reader to start reading because of everything being accessible to them at the tip of their hand. In conclusion, I would like to say that e-books and other entertaining technique available will replace traditional practice and it is not even for a bad cause I admit.
I'm one of those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that e-books and modern technology will
totally
replace the traditional papers and magazines.

Using of e-books have made an avid reader like me more excited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
e-books have made me go back to reading more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
since it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in handy. Portable size, can
be carried
where ever I want and can save as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as I want. With the Kindle e-book, I have downloaded
nearly
300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, including those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
whose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
copy I couldn't find anywhere in the market, and it is affordable in price. With each passing day and global warming rising, saving trees have become vital, we can at least save 8-10 trees from 300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
I downloaded,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
replacing of traditional papers and magazines has more of benefits
especially
in terms of saving our environment I believe. Using of computers like, to showcase animals, plants or other things for kids have made them
Use only "nearer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more nearer
to understand and enjoy it which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can not
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'give'.
give always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
kids enjoy more when shown
practically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of robotics to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
animal or plants is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
if not more usage of environmental resources might
eventually
lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
those in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
disagree and
they do have valid points when they say that nothing can replace the joy of reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
colouring
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
still
joy like that shouldn't harm the environment and using machinery can even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a non-reader to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of everything being accessible to them at the tip of their hand.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that e-books and other entertaining technique available will replace traditional practice and it is not even for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Did you mean "because I"?
cause I
admit.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that e-books and modern technology will totally replace the traditional papers and magazines. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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