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More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.6

More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 6
Recently working from home as become more popular. More and more employers are allowing their workers to do their job from their own houses. This essay will explain why I think that this is a positive change where people can only benefit from this. First of all, one of the reasons why I believe that this could be a positive change it is that before, a lot of employees were able to work only from their office, consequently they were spending eight or more hours sitting in uncomfortable chairs or they were not able to see the light of the sun. Now they have the possibility to do their job from home, which allow them to have a better environment all around them, where they can feel more comfortable and in some case be more focused. For example, they can choose to lie down on a couch, or at the side of their swimming pool. Secondly, they no longer have to come back from a stressful day of work, because now they can take breaks whenever they please and without asking for anyone. And also by being at home, they can dedicate more time to their families. Therefore, they are able to build a stronger bond with their children. For example a father that can be present all the time, can help his child on doing his homeworks or even play with him after a day at school. To conclude, I strongly believe that this new method of work can only change for the better our style of life, allowing us to have more free time for ourself and our beloved.
Recently working from home as become more popular. More and more employers are allowing their workers to do their job from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefit from this.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one of the reasons why I believe that this could be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
employees were able to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from their office,
consequently
they were spending eight or more hours sitting in uncomfortable
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
chairs or
they were not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the light of the sun.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
they have the possibility to do their job from home, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to have a better environment all around them, where they can feel more comfortable and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case be more focused.
For example
, they can choose to lie down on a couch, or at the side of their swimming pool.

Secondly
, they no longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back from a stressful day of work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they can take breaks whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
and without asking for anyone. And
also
by being at home, they can dedicate more time to their families.
Therefore
, they are able to build a stronger bond with their children.
For example
a father that can be present all the time, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
his child on doing his
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
or even play with him after a day at school.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that this new method of work can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for the better our style of life, allowing us to have more free time for
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
and our beloved.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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