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Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion And examples from your own experience. v.2

Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Give your opinion And examples from your own experience. v. 2
The potential of music, drama and creative writing often give niche to an individual. However, the basic education has been a primary focus in the schools like mathematics, science. In this essay, I shall argue some prime statistics to justify that the students may not avail better avenues if they are in the path of arts than the academic subjects. To begin with, schools have been laid main subjects as a basic foundation to student's center of focus. As a result, every child can score well in academic subjects and achieve their future goals easily like a doctor, an engineer, scientist as these professions are highly admired by the people. Arts do not have considerable role to reach the pinnacle of life, rather it may deviate student's attention from studies. For example, in schools, more time is utilised by teachers to teach mathematics and science, wasting this precious time on arts syllabus may not be a good idea. On the other hand, recreational activities are essential to students which sometime enable them to bring out their talents. Most of the time in school, children may pay more attention towards music and dance because of their personal interest. To illustrate, when I was a student I got an opportunity to dance and sing which revealed my hidden talent. Due to this, today I, could build my career into this. In conclusion, undoubtedly I, believe that adding arts subject in the syllabus may shape student's talent to grow. Nevertheless, arts may not give a better future or employment opportunities to students and this may also cap youth's growth.
The potential of music, drama and creative writing
often
give niche to an individual.
However
, the basic education has been a primary
focus in
the
schools
like mathematics, science. In this essay, I shall argue
some
prime statistics to justify that the
students
may not avail better avenues if they are in the path of
arts
than the academic subjects.

To
begin
with,
schools
have
been laid
main subjects as a basic foundation to student's center of focus.
As a result
, every child can score well in academic subjects and achieve their future goals
easily
like a doctor, an engineer, scientist as these professions are
highly
admired by the
people
.
Arts
do not have considerable role to reach the pinnacle of life,
rather
it may deviate student's attention from studies.
For example
, in
schools
, more time is
utilised
by teachers to teach mathematics and science, wasting this precious time on
arts
syllabus may not be a
good
idea
.

On the other hand
, recreational activities are essential to
students
which sometime enable them to bring out their talents. Most of the time in
school
, children may pay more attention towards music and dance
because
of their personal interest. To illustrate, when I was a
student
I
got
an opportunity to dance and sing which revealed my hidden talent. Due to this,
today
I, could build my career into this.

In conclusion
,
undoubtedly
I, believe that adding
arts
subject in the syllabus may shape student's talent to grow.
Nevertheless
,
arts
may not give a better future or employment opportunities to
students
and this may
also
cap youth's growth.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Give your opinion And examples from your own experience. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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