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Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion And examples from your own experience. v.3

Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Give your opinion And examples from your own experience. v. 3
Art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are fundamentals that enrich our lives. However, some parents say schools concentrate on teaching more academic subjects, such as mathematics, science, literature and history. In my opinion, both academic and arts subjects should be taught and I will expand on the pros and cons of including arts in the school program further on in this essay. On the one hand, academic subjects are often required when we get into higher educations. Academic subjects may be considered as precious basement in the academic world. Personally, I have never taken an entrance exam of art subjects for high school or university. In other words, schools measured my academic abilities using academic subjects, not art subjects. To suit the current educational system, many parents in my home country, Japan, send their children to cram schools to study academic subjects deeply. On the other hand, art subjects can strengthen the creativity and flexibility of individuals. Liberal arts, which include cultural understanding and knowledge, also include other arts subjects. In addition, we are living in the era of automation and artificial intelligence which are replacing human labor and office work more and more. In this regard, human creativity becomes more important. Therefore, art subjects are being more in demand to make a difference between individuals and computers. In conclusion, academic and arts subjects should blend in a school syllabus in a balanced way. Art subjects can also nature a better personality in individuals, so participation in these classes should be encouraged as well as academic achievements.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as music, drama and creative writing are fundamentals that enrich our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
concentrate on teaching more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, such as mathematics, science, literature and history. In my opinion, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be taught
and I will expand on the pros and cons of including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
program
further
on in this essay.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
required when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into higher educations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
may
be considered
as precious basement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
world.
Personally
, I have never taken an entrance exam of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or university.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
measured my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
abilities using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. To suit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
educational system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents in my home country, Japan,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children to cram
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
deeply
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can strengthen the creativity and flexibility of individuals. Liberal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, which include cultural understanding and knowledge,
also
include other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
In addition
, we are living in the era of automation and artificial intelligence which are replacing human labor and office work more and more. In this regard, human creativity becomes more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are being more in demand to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference between individuals and computers.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should blend in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus in a balanced way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can
also
nature a better personality in individuals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
participation in these classes should
be encouraged
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
achievements.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Give your opinion And examples from your own experience. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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