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Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion Add examples from your own experience v.7

Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Give your opinion Add examples from your own experience v. 7
Many argue that courses like music, drama and creative writing are vital while educating, so each school ought to incorporate them into its curriculum. I totally agree with this opinion, because such education contributes to making a well rounded student and it breaks monotony of academic studies. The main reason why I believe this notion is first, educating arts contribute to making a well rounded student. Arts education has been proven to help students increase cognitive development, inspire motivation and discipline, develop confidence, hone communication and problem solving skills. For example, in a study it was seen that students who study arts continue to outperform non-arts students on the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT). Furthermore, some students are gifted in their creative abilities if such hidden talents are uncovered in schools, this would be encouraged to take up as a profession later on in life. Another reason why I support it, because performing arts break monotony of academic subjects. Not all have a talent for mathematics, science or languages and many students can do their best when they can be creative. Moreover, art is an essential subject, which promotes students’ creativity and imagination. To illustrate, In an Interview a famous choreographer mentioned that without developments of imagination and creative thinking, he would have struggled to grow into a dynamic individual thinker when reaching adulthood. In conclusion, I strongly agree, that arts subjects do play a fundamental role in a student's life, therefore schools should place equal importance to these subjects as well and ought to provide a healthy balance of all subjects, thus to facilitate healthy development of both physical and mental abilities. Also encouraging arts in schools will certainly help to keep our culture and tradition alive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
argue that courses like music, drama and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
writing are vital while educating,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
ought to incorporate them into its curriculum. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such education contributes to making a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well rounded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and it breaks monotony of academic studies.

The main reason why I believe this notion is
first
, educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
contribute to making a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well rounded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
education has
been proven
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
increase cognitive development, inspire motivation and discipline, develop confidence, hone communication and problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, in a study it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
continue to outperform non-arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
on the Scholastic Aptitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Test
(SAT).
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are gifted
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
abilities if such hidden talents
are uncovered
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, this would
be encouraged
to take up as a profession later on in life.

Another reason why I support it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
break monotony of academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Not all have a talent for mathematics, science or languages and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can do their best when they can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, which promotes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
creativity and imagination. To illustrate, In an Interview a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
choreographer mentioned that without developments of imagination and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
thinking, he would have struggled to grow into a dynamic individual thinker when reaching adulthood.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
do play a fundamental role in a student's life,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should place equal importance to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as well
and ought to provide a healthy balance of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
thus
to facilitate healthy development of both physical and mental abilities.
Also
encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our culture and tradition alive.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Give your opinion Add examples from your own experience v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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