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Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education and every school should include them in its syllabus. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.5

Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education and every school should include them in its syllabus. v. 5
Art is one of the integral part of our daily life which helps children to shape their career. Therefore, more than few people suggest that art related subjects such as music, drama and creative writing should be included in the syllabus of every school. I completely agree with the above statement as subjects like these help teens to articulate better. There is a plethora of reasons as why subjects related to lyric, acting and novel writing should be added to every school's curriculum. Firstly, it helps students to acquaint with different aspects of teaching, and moreover it makes them think out of the box. There have been many researches which suggest that adolescents need extracurricular activities along with regular subjects to learn various unknown features of their surroundings. While songs help students to acquire a different culture by understanding their lyrics, drama and writing pushes them to be more active. Secondly, most of the drama has a moral in the end, which definitely plays a pivotal role in educating children through activity. It helps them to learn new things by participating actively, and also it lasts in their memory for a longer duration. However, if wrong message is given to them at that tender age it could be destructive as well. As mentioned previously, novelty in writing benefits students in the long run, as they will be able to express and see the world in a different way. If education lacks art in their system of imparting knowledge, then it would be a waste of time for students. In conclusion, sufficient time should be allocated to arts stream along with mathematics and science. Every aspect of education should be imparted by the schools to create the next future of the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is one of the integral part of our daily life which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
children to shape their career.
Therefore
, more than few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as music, drama and creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
should
be included
in the syllabus of every school. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
teens to articulate better.

There is a plethora of reasons as why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
related to lyric, acting and novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to every school's curriculum.
Firstly
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
students to acquaint with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of teaching, and
moreover
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out of the box. There have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researches which suggest that adolescents need extracurricular activities along with regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to learn various unknown features of their surroundings. While songs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
students to acquire a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture by understanding their lyrics, drama and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
pushes them to be more active.

Secondly
, most of the drama has a moral in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, which definitely plays a pivotal role in educating children through activity. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to learn new things by participating
actively
, and
also
it lasts in their memory for a longer duration.
However
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
message is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them at that tender age it could be destructive
as well
. As mentioned previously, novelty in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
benefits students in the long run, as they will be able to express and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way. If education lacks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in their system of imparting knowledge, then it would be a waste of time for students.

In conclusion
, sufficient time should
be allocated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
stream along with mathematics and science. Every aspect of education should
be imparted
by the schools to create the
next
future of the world.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education and every school should include them in its syllabus. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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