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Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. Why do young people not want to be teachers? How this could be changed? v.1

Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. Why do young people not want to be teachers? How this could be changed? v. 1
Over recent decades, a reduction in the number of graduates choosing to become classroom teachers has been reported. This essay will endeavor to examine the reasons why this situation has arisen and to pinpoint possible ways of dealing with it. The decline in popularity of teaching is related to economic and social factors, as well as health concerns. Firstly, salaries paid by schools are comparatively low. A well-qualified graduate can earn more by working in other sectors like IT, real-estate or even tourism. In addition, teachers no longer benefit from the respect they previously enjoyed. Those working in the Education sector used to have the same social status as lawyers, doctors and so on. This is not now the case. Finally, the job seems extremely unattractive as most potential teachers are put off by the thought of long working hours and disruptive students. It is widely acknowledged that the many working in primary schools or secondary education suffer from stress, depression and other mental and emotional conditions. A range of strategies might be used to arrest this decline. Firstly, the ministers of education should give teachers a pay-rise or offer financial incentives to newly qualified recruits or those who prove to be successful. This would make the teaching profession a more attractive proposition. In addition, the government ought to launch an awareness-raising campaign to remind the general public of the importance and values of a teacher. This might begin to restore the teacher’s status as a valued citizen. Finally, steps could be taken to reduce workload of teaching staff and give them the powers to discipline poorly behaved children. This could make teaching a far more pleasant experience. To recapitulate, measures could be introduced to reverse this trend and raise the number of applicants for jobs in schools. However, I am not widely optimistic that the government will give this issue a top priority. It seems likely the there will be an ongoing decline in both the quantity and quality of teachers. From everyone’s perspective, this is a shame
Over recent decades, a reduction in the number of graduates choosing to become classroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
has
been reported
. This essay will endeavor to examine the reasons why this situation has arisen and to pinpoint possible ways of dealing with it.

The decline in popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
is related
to economic and social factors,
as well
as health concerns.
Firstly
, salaries paid by schools are
comparatively
low. A well-qualified graduate can earn more by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in other sectors like IT, real-estate or even tourism.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
no longer benefit from the respect they previously enjoyed. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the Education sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have the same social status as lawyers, doctors and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the case.
Finally
, the job seems
extremely
unattractive as most potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are put
off by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours and disruptive students. It is
widely
acknowledged that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in primary schools or secondary education suffer from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, depression and other mental and emotional conditions.

A range of strategies might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to arrest this decline.
Firstly
, the ministers of education should give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
a pay-rise or offer financial incentives to
newly
qualified recruits or those who prove to be successful. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
profession a more attractive proposition.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to launch an awareness-raising campaign to remind the
Consider using "public".
general public
of the importance and values of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. This might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to restore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
status as a valued citizen.
Finally
, steps could
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
workload of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
staff and give them the powers to discipline
poorly
behaved children. This could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
a far more pleasant experience.

To recapitulate, measures could
be introduced
to reverse this trend and raise the number of applicants for jobs in schools.
However
, I am not
widely
optimistic that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will give this issue a top priority. It seems likely the there will be an ongoing decline in both the quantity and quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. From everyone’s perspective, this is a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
shame
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. Why do young people not want to be teachers? How this could be changed? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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