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Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance in school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over-enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on a child. PROMPT: Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well in school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child’s education? v.1

Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance in school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over-enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on a child. PROMPT: Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well in school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child’s education? v. 1
It is argued that school kids are not obtaining feedbacks from their mother and father about their educational process at a learning institution, while other offsprings receive a lot of pressure which has not positive impact on a child. Some parents believe that taking care of children's performance will lead to better grades and prepare them for a nice future without stress. It is widely believed that marks play an essential role in the educational process. Because of that some parents strictly control the academic results of each subject of their son or daughter. Graduation with a high GPA will give a chance for future college students to receive a scholarship which will cut parents' expanse. A recent study shows that 90 percent of applicants with average mark B+ are able to receive funding from a postsecondary institution for tuition fee purposes. Some fathers and mothers state that monitoring the study of their boy or girl can reduce stress in the future. According to their views, such supervision can help them, when they will become an adult. If personality prepared for this control from an early age, they will not care about this pressure. A research found that every 6 out 10 students become successful in their careers and the reason for this is receiving pressure from their parents. In conclusion, some children receive pressure from their father and mother and the reason for this is good marks and a better future. In my opinion, the main task of each mom and dad is to prepare their kids for adulthood and their role in education is vital because successful people usually have a great educational background.
It
is argued
that school kids are not obtaining feedbacks from their mother and father about their educational process at a learning institution, while other
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
which has not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on a child.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents believe that taking care of children's performance will lead to better grades and prepare them for a nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

It is
widely
believed that marks play an essential role in the educational process.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents
strictly
control the academic results of each subject of their son or daughter. Graduation with a high GPA will give a chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
college students to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
receive
a scholarship which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
parents' expanse. A recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 90 percent of applicants with average mark B+ are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
receive
funding from a
Possible spelling mistake found.
postsecondary
institution for tuition fee purposes.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
fathers and mothers state that monitoring the study of their boy or girl can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. According to their views, such supervision can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them, when they will become an adult. If personality prepared for this control from an early age, they will not care about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
found that every 6 out 10 students become successful in their careers and
the reason for this is
receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
from their parents.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
from their father and mother and
the reason for this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks and a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. In my opinion, the main task of each mom and dad is to prepare their kids for adulthood and their role in education is vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
have a great educational background.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance in school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over-enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on a child. PROMPT: Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well in school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child’s education? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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