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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 5
Incidences of obesity have risen over the years. It is believed to be a consequence of over consumption of fast food and hence some people argue that the government should increase the tax on such foods. In my opinion, this approach is unlikely to yield the desired result. In the first place, increasing tax on fast food is unlikely to reduce its consumption. Actually, most people who consume it are already well aware of the health consequences of its consumption; however, their busy schedules do not permit them to cook proper meals at home. Hence, they opt for readymade meals. They will buy packaged food even if the price is high because they cannot or do not want to cook healthy food at home. Hence, a higher tax will have little impact on fast food consumption especially among middle and higher income groups. At the same time, it will put a burden on the lower strata of the society. Many of these people subsist on fast food because they cannot afford healthy food. By increasing the tax on fast food, the government will only add to their woes. A better solution is to make healthy food more affordable and available to all sections of the society. The government can open eateries all over the country where it can sell healthy meals at affordable prices. It should also enact laws that make it mandatory for fast food companies to ensure the quality of their foods. In conclusion, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to combat obesity, and a higher tax on fast food is not the one we need. What the government should do is to make healthy meals more and more affordable.
Incidences of obesity have risen over the years. It
is believed
to be a consequence of over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
hence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. In my opinion, this approach is unlikely to yield the desired result.

In the
first
place, increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is unlikely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
. Actually, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who consume it are already well aware of the health consequences of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
;
however
, their busy schedules do not permit them to cook proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
at home.
Hence
, they opt for
Possible spelling mistake found.
readymade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
. They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
packaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
even if the price is high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot or do not want to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home.
Hence
, a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
especially
among middle and higher income groups. At the same time, it will put a burden on the lower strata of the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
subsist on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. By increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to their woes.

A better solution is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
more affordable and available to all sections of the society. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can open eateries all over the country where it can sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
at affordable prices. It should
also
enact laws that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it mandatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to ensure the quality of their foods.

In conclusion
, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to combat obesity, and a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not the one we need. What the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should do is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
more and more affordable.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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