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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really donot need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products thatmay improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specificreasons and examples to support your ans v.1

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really donot need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products thatmay improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specificreasons and examples to support your ans v. 1
This essay will analyse about the human body, and how it works with its internal clock setting, everything have a fixed time and it functions that way throughout our life. It's highly important that we have a fixed time for our body to sleep, eat and exercise to set the clock in motion. In addition, we will also cover the importance of physical activity and sports in the following essay. While the scientists are busy inventing new things in technology, children are engrossed in their electronic gadgets. It's really important for children to have physical training and education in their school curriculum, as physical education will give useful information to young minds and help them to build their overall physical and emotional well being. For instance, physical education can generate interest in kids in sports, it can help children to master their favourite sport. The total number of teenagers opting for a job post their graduation is high, hence its really important for them to do some sort of sport or physical activity to stay fit and sustain a desk job. Habits which are imbibed at an early age will stick longer and good habits such as exercising will help in the long run. For example, my brother who is 35 years old was a basketball player in his college and he has continued to stick to his basketball routine, which has helped him to keep his overall muscle density and physique as compared to his friends who were not much into sports. In conclusion, all age groups should indulge in some sort of physical activity which helps them keep in shape, and the government should impose policies on schools and colleges to increase the awareness and encourage participation.
This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
about the human body, and how it works with its internal clock setting, everything have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
time and it functions that way throughout our life. It's
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that we have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
time for our body to sleep, eat and exercise to set the clock in motion.
In addition
, we will
also
cover the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity and sports in the following essay.

While the scientists are busy inventing new things in technology, children
are engrossed
in their electronic gadgets. It's
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for children to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
training and education in their school curriculum, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education will give useful information to young minds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to build their
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and emotional
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education can generate interest in kids in sports, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
children to master their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
sport.

The total number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
opting for a job post their graduation is high,
hence
its
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of sport or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity to stay fit and sustain a desk job. Habits which
are imbibed
at an early age will stick longer and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits such as exercising will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in the long run.
For example
, my brother who is 35 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
was a basketball player in his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
college and
he has continued to stick to his basketball routine, which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
his
overall
muscle density and physique as compared to his friends who were not much into sports.

In conclusion
, all age groups should indulge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in shape, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose policies on schools and colleges to increase the awareness and encourage participation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really donot need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products thatmay improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specificreasons and examples to support your ans v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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