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Most people accept that we now live in a globalized world but not everyone agrees that this beneficial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or negative development? v.1

Most people accept that we now live in a globalized world but not everyone agrees that this beneficial. v. 1
The vast majority of people acknowledge that we live in a globalized world. However, not everyone has come to agree with it. After the unexpected spring of its side effects, people have begun to argue whether it was a positive or a negative development. Globalisation has brought the world closer, there's no denying it. It has resulted in a wide integration that has worked for the benefit of the people. Integrating many political and economic systems world-wide and removing barrier to trade has led to the creation of a new world with a new set of knowledge and new rules. All of this has contributed to better communication and understanding between different countries, as globalisation has evolved through the exchange of culture and traditions. Nevertheless, globalisation has proven to be disastrous. Many countries weren't prepared for its impacts, which have led to unanticipated problems, the most distinct of them-at least on the local level-is the loss of identity; as new generations start embracing other identities, forgetting about their own. Another consequence is the increasing gab between the rich and the poor globally and locally, where the rich keeps on getting richer and the poor keeps on getting poorer. Not to mention the rising impact of media and the consumption culture. For instance, you'd find that lots of media users tend to imitate what they see even if it's harmful, also the media encourages consumption by trying to tie the concept with status. As you can see, this has resulted in several problems. In conclusion, globalisation may have helped bring the world closer, but in doing so, it has caused lots of troubles that the world is struggling to deal with.
The vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
acknowledge that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a globalized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
However
, not everyone has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it. After the unexpected spring of its side effects,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have begun to argue whether it was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
has brought the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
closer, there's no denying it. It has resulted in a wide integration that has worked for the benefit of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Integrating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
political and economic systems world-wide and removing barrier to trade has led to the creation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
set of knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. All of this has contributed to better communication and understanding between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, as
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
has evolved through the exchange of culture and traditions.

Nevertheless
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
has proven to be disastrous.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries weren't prepared for its impacts, which have led to unanticipated problems, the most distinct of them-at least on the local level-is the loss of identity; as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
embracing other identities, forgetting about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Another consequence is the increasing gab between the rich and the poor globally and
locally
, where the rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on getting richer and the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on getting poorer. Not to mention the rising impact of media and the consumption culture.
For instance
, you'd find that lots of media users tend to imitate what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
even if it's harmful,
also
the media encourages consumption by trying to tie the concept with status. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, this has resulted in several problems.

In conclusion
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
may have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
closer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it has caused lots of troubles that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is struggling to deal with.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Most people accept that we now live in a globalized world but not everyone agrees that this beneficial. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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