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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your v.3

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your v. 3
Advertisements are one of the most important innovative tools used for companies to promote their products. Advertising might influence people in different ways but especially they have a great effect on subjects who don' t posses a good mental status, in other words, those who can be persuaded easy. There are many people who consider that advertising ' ' announcements' ' are good because we might be updated with the new products, nevertheless I don' t agree. Rather, in my view announcements deceive people and influence them to spend unnecessary money. To support my view, I will develop some arguments in the next paragraphs. In the first place, advertising used unreal words to promote their products. As a matter of fact, companies don' t care the well being of costumers; instead they see us such as profits. To illustrate this plight, let' s take as reference the Iphone 6. This is the last phone that was built for the Iphone Company. In order to promote this new product, the company uses announcement aim to costumers that claims ' ' If you don' t have the Iphone 6 you are out of date’’. These are words implemented to confuse people and make them believe that their old Iphones such as Iphone 5 and 4 are not longer useful. Therefore, this is deceiving to people due to the fact that they are creating a misperception on customers. Another noteworthy aspect that should be reflected in this explanation is that announcements lay to customers. Most of the companies when trying to convince people to buy their products they say that ' ' our products are the best and do things that others cannot do' ' . Nevertheless, this saying is not true. For instance, when Vizio' s company was promoting its flat screen TV, they said that it is the only TV that can connect to the internet. But in reality, this was not true because others brand such as Panasonic' s flat TV can do the same thing. Thus, they lie to people in order to improve their sells. Even though, advertising some times make us aware about new technology, we should not belief hundred percent in them. To sum up, for the reasons stated above, I believe that advertising ' ' announcements' ' influence people to waste their money because they lie to people and promote features that in really the products don’t have.
Advertisements are one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
innovative tools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promote
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Advertising might influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
especially
they have a great effect on subjects who
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t posses a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mental status,
in other words
, those who can
be persuaded
easy. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who consider that advertising ' '
Possible spelling mistake found.
announcements&
#039; ' are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we might
be updated
with the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
nevertheless
I
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Rather
, in my view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
announcements
deceive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and influence them to spend unnecessary money. To support my view, I will develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments in the
next
paragraphs.

In the
first
place, advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
unreal words to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promote
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t care the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of costumers;
instead
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
us such as profits. To illustrate this plight,
Possible spelling mistake found.
let&
#039; s take as reference the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphone
6. This is the last phone that
was built
for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
. In order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promote
this new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
announcement
aim to costumers that claims ' ' If you
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t have the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphone
6 you are out of date’’. These are words implemented to confuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them believe that their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphones
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphone
5 and 4 are not longer useful.
Therefore
, this is deceiving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to the fact that they are creating a misperception on customers.

Another noteworthy aspect that should
be reflected
in this explanation is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
announcements
lay to customers. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
when trying to convince
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they say that ' ' our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are the best and do things that others cannot
Possible spelling mistake found.
do&
#039; '
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Nevertheless
, this saying is not true.
For instance
, when
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vizio&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
was promoting its flat screen TV, they said that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
TV that can connect to the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in reality, this was not true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
others brand such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Panasonic&
#039; s flat TV can do the same thing.
Thus
, they lie to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their sells.

Even though
, advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us aware about new technology, we
The word 'belief' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
should not belief
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
percent in them.

To sum up, for the reasons stated above, I believe that advertising ' '
Possible spelling mistake found.
announcements&
#039; ' influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to waste their money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lie to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promote
features that in
really
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
don’t have.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
403 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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