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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which view point do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v.4

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which view point do you agree with? v. 4
Although advertising of products is thought by some as a means of motivating individuals in purchasing items that are irrelevant to them, other people consider that it is an effective way of enlightening the public of an existence of new goods beneficial to their lives. In my opinion, I agree that advertisement is the most useful way of creating awareness of various products to the consumers. A good reason for marketing goods, or items is that it provides people with some essential products they require for some certain reasons in their lives. At present, most people are unaware of some useful products, that are very important to them. This is usually, as a result of lack of awareness. However, most companies have created awareness of lots of products through various channels such as, television, radio, facebook, twitter and instagram; in other words, making the goods known and accessible to the public, for them to be able to satisfy their needs. Another reason to consider is that advertising of products improves the quality of the goods and services produced by the company for the people. Moreover, this results to versatility of the products produced. For instance, different food companies, produces different varieties of noodles, but 90% of people in Nigeria, purchases indomine noodles because of its quality and taste. Furthermore, this enhances the company's growth and also, products expansion thereby, encouraging the company to put in their utmost best in their products and services. In conclusion, advertisement of goods is a very essential services that ought to be provided to the people because it will improve the needs of the people greatly.
Although advertising of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
as a means of motivating individuals in purchasing items that are irrelevant to them, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that it is an effective way of enlightening the public of an existence of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
beneficial to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that advertisement is the most useful way of creating awareness of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to the consumers.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
reason for marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, or items is that it provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they require for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain reasons in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. At present, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unaware of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to them. This is
usually
,
as a result
of lack of awareness.
However
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have created awareness of lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
through various channels such as, television, radio,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
, twitter and
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
;
in other words
, making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
known and accessible to the public, for them to be able to satisfy their needs.

Another reason to consider is that advertising of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and services produced by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, this results to versatility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
produced.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, produces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
varieties of noodles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
90% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Nigeria,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
Possible spelling mistake found.
indomine
noodles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its quality and taste.
Furthermore
, this enhances the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's growth and
also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
expansion thereby, encouraging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to put in their
The extreme adjective for good is "wonderful", "fantastic", "superb", "perfect", or "excellent".
utmost best
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services.

In conclusion
,
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential services that ought to
be provided
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
greatly
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which view point do you agree with? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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