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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. v.12

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 12
In the past, the concept of the Advertising is not so common. In those days, It was noticed that the people were not aware about advertisement. Those days, people were not purchasing product from the advertisement but they were purchased product what they liked and what they need. However, at present, the table has turned. Currently, it is noticed that most of people are buying product only after seeing the advertisement. After watching the advertisement, some people thinks to buy product but they do not understand whether it is necessary or it helps to improve people's lives. There are controversial views prevailing in this matter whether advertising encourage to buy things what really people need or not. Keeping in consideration existing trends for and against in this matter. I completely do not accede to the idea. One of the most convincing reason I have in this regard is that advertising is just manipulating human mind. My belief is due to my observation that advertisement encourages the people to buy product for sowing their only advantages of product. As a result, people just buy that product from the advertisement which is really unnecessary for them. They are purchasing because they think it will work as it shown in the advertisement. For instance, In most of the literate society, it has been a usual perception that one of the advertisement showing that if people collect their chocolate raper and save it, people will go in future. After that, people are buying that chocolate because they thinking its real. Additionally, my inclination is supported by the axiom that children can demand specific product after watching the broadcast which is really unnecessary for them. As a matter of fact, they are becoming very demanding. Consequently, If parents want allow to buy them, they will be coming stubborn and angry. I can cite an example for this. A recent survey by a reputed International organisation in this matter has reveled a surprising testimony that about 89% children are purchasing product of food and toys because of advertisement influences. In a nutshell, everyone from civilized societies should realize that it is vital to know that how much propaganda negatively affecting the child's mind and influencing them to purchase particular product which will affect the future of the human beings. In the foreseeable future, we cannot deny that people will buy merchandise that they really don't need to improve their lifestyle but they just buying because they seeing that product ad they feels they need it which is a waste of money.
In the past, the concept of the Advertising is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common. In those days, It
was noticed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were not aware about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. Those days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were not purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
what they liked and what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
.
However
, at present, the table has turned.
Currently
, it
is noticed
that most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after seeing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. After watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not understand whether it is necessary or it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. There are controversial views prevailing in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matter
whether advertising encourage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
or not. Keeping in consideration existing trends for and against in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matter
. I completely do not accede to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

One of the most convincing reason I have in this regard is that advertising is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
manipulating human mind. My belief is due to my observation that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
encourages the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
for sowing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
unnecessary for them. They are purchasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will work as it shown in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
For instance
, In most of the literate society, it has been a usual perception that one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
showing that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
collect their chocolate raper and save it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will go
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. After that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are buying that chocolate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "they're thinking", "they are thinking", or "they were thinking"?
they thinking
its real.

Additionally
, my inclination
is supported
by the axiom that children can demand specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
after watching the broadcast which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
unnecessary for them. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matter
of fact, they are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
demanding.
Consequently
, If parents want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
them, they will be coming stubborn and angry. I can cite an example for this. A recent survey by a reputed International
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matter
has reveled a surprising testimony that about 89% children are purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
of food and toys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
influences.

In a nutshell, everyone from civilized societies should realize that it is vital to know that how much propaganda
negatively
affecting the child's mind and influencing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which will affect the future of the human beings. In the foreseeable future, we cannot deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
merchandise that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "they're seeing", "they are seeing", or "they were seeing"?
they seeing
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
ad they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "feel"
feels
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
it which is a waste of money.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
425 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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