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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.21

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 21
The purpose of advertising is to tell the consumer about any new product or work or any new promotion on the existing product and work. We need it so we can make good decisions when we go shopping. Advertising tells us when new and improved products become available and lets us know which ones have the best price. Through advertisements, we learn about new products. For example, many grocery stores now sell prepackaged lunches. These are very convenient for busy parents. They can give these lunches to their children to take to school. Busy parents don’t have time to look at every item on the store shelf, so without advertisements, they might not know about such a convenient new product. Even products we are familiar with may be improved, and advertising lets us know about this. Most people use cell phones, but new types of cell phone service become available all the time. There are different plans that give you more hours to talk on the phone, you can send text messages and photos, and next week probably some even newer type of service will be available. By watching advertisements on TV it is easy to find out about new improvements to all kinds of products. Advertisements keep us informed about prices. Prices change all the time, but everyone can look at the ads in the newspaper and see what the latest prices are. Advertisements also inform us about sales. In fact, some people buy the newspaper only in order to check the prices and plan their weekly shopping. Advertisements improve our lives by keeping us informed about the latest product developments and the best prices. Advertisements serve a useful purpose.
The purpose of advertising is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the consumer about any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or work or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
promotion on the existing
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product
and work. We need it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decisions when we go shopping. Advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us when
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new
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
become available and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
us know which ones have the best price.

Through
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advertisements
, we learn about
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
grocery stores
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
sell prepackaged lunches. These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient for busy parents. They can give these lunches to their children to take to school. Busy parents don’t have time to look at every item on the store shelf,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
without
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advertisements
, they might not know about such a convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
product.

Even
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products
we are familiar with may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, and advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
us know about this. Most
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cell phones,
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but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
types of cell phone service become available all the time. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
plans that give you more hours to talk on the phone, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
text messages and photos, and
next
week
probably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
even newer type of service will be available. By watching
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advertisements
on TV it is easy to find out about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
improvements to all kinds of products.

Advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us informed about
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prices
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Prices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
all the time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everyone can look at the ads in the newspaper and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
are.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
also
inform us about sales. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the newspaper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
and plan their weekly shopping.

Advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by keeping us informed about the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
developments and the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
serve a useful purpose.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 21

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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