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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v.3

Advertising plays a major role when it comes to buying products. In this essay, I will be discussing how advertising encourages us to spend on the products we don't even need and also how new products are introduced to us that have a positive effect on our lifestyles. Advertising can be of any kind, be it digital or printed. Now we are more into the digital era as we use smartphones, laptops, tablets for every possible task. Even while watching movies or shows online you are interrupted by having advertisements in the breaks. They actually motivate you to purchase a lot of stuff that you did not even think of buying before. I would like to give my own example as a similar thing happened to me. I was on my journey of losing weight and was very dedicated towards it. Then a few weeks later I saw a hoarding in downtown mentioning fat burning tea to help you lose weight. It stated all the benefits of how losing weight can be a piece of cake for anyone. I bought it immediately and added it to my meal plan. Honestly, there were no results from the tea and I realised it was a waste of money. In addition, when it comes to making our lives easier advertisements are a blessing too. They actually introduce us to so many useful products that are a lifesaver. For instance, curling hair back in the 1980s in India was a long process that used to start in the past night itself. Wash your hair, wait for it to be damp, use the rollers and then wait for the perfect curls in the morning. Excitingly when we talk about curling hair now we have so many products available that give you the desired look in just 30 minutes. Advertisements from international companies encouraged women to buy the products easily which actually made their life hassle-free. To summarise I would state that advertisements are a great source of information if we use them in the right way. As both, the views have been discussed in this essay mentioning both the pros and cons of advertisement, I highly recommend customers checking reviews of the products and ratings before buying anything and also asking themselves if that particular product is really needed or if its going to make a difference in our lives.
Advertising plays a major role when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In this essay, I will be discussing how advertising encourages us to spend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
we don't even need and
also
how new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are introduced
to us that have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on our lifestyles.

Advertising can be of any kind, be it digital or printed.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
we are more into the digital era as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smartphones, laptops, tablets for every possible task. Even while watching movies or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
online you
are interrupted
by having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in the breaks. They actually motivate you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
stuff that you did not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. I would like to give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
example as a similar thing happened to me. I was on my journey of losing weight and was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dedicated towards it. Then a few weeks later I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a hoarding in downtown mentioning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
burning tea to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you lose weight. It stated all the benefits of how losing weight can be a piece of cake for anyone. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it immediately and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
it to my meal plan.
Honestly
, there were no results from the tea and I
Possible spelling mistake. ‘realised’ is British English.
realised
it was a waste of money.

In addition
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to making our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are a blessing too. They actually introduce us to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are a lifesaver.
For instance
, curling hair back in the 1980s in India was a long process that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in the past night itself. Wash your hair, wait for it to be damp,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the rollers and then wait for the perfect curls in the morning.
Excitingly
when we talk about curling hair
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available that give you the desired look in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
30 minutes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
from international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
encouraged women to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
easily
which actually made their life hassle-free.

To
Possible spelling mistake. ‘summarise’ is British English.
summarise
I would state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are a great source of information if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them in the right way. As both, the views have
been discussed
in this essay mentioning both the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, I
highly
recommend customers checking reviews of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and ratings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying anything and
also
asking themselves if that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is
really
needed or if
Did you mean “it’s” (short for ‘it is’) instead of ‘its’ (possessive pronoun)?
its
going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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