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Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and your opinion. v.2

Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. v. 2
It is now a common occurrence for families to migrate to a new country. Although it is often believed that this can benefit the young ones, others think this decision might be extremely difficult for a child in a new country. In my opinion, I believe that moving to a new nation will indeed be of immense benefit to a child academically. On the one hand, one major reason why parents relocate abroad is to give their children a sound education and I agree. This is because it is possible that the present place of residence of an individual might not be beneficial academically to a child, in this situation fathers and mothers could consider a move to other countries whose primary focus is standard learning for the child. For example, it is now a common trend for parents in Nigeria to relocate to more developed countries like Canada in order to improve the quality of education received by the child. On the other hand, others think that this big move might be hard for a child because of the psychological effect it might create. This is because a move to a new place means a change of environment and friends and the young one might find it difficult to adapt to this, thus, resulting in loneliness which could inadvertently lead to depression in the offspring. For example, the WHO reported a surge in depression among children in 2018 as a result of relocation to a new state. In conclusion, although relocating a child to a new state might have a depressing effect on a child, I believe that parents relocate their children in order to afford them a better education which might not be available in their present state.
It is
now
a common occurrence for families to migrate to a
new
country
. Although it is
often
believed that this can benefit the young ones, others
think
this decision
might
be
extremely
difficult for a
child
in a
new
country
. In my opinion, I believe that moving to a
new
nation will
indeed
be of immense benefit to a
child
academically
.

On the one hand, one major reason why parents relocate abroad is to give their children a sound education and I
agree
. This is
because
it is possible that the present place of residence of an individual
might
not be beneficial
academically
to a
child
, in this situation fathers and mothers could consider a
move
to
other
countries
whose primary focus is standard learning for the
child
.
For example
, it is
now
a common trend for parents in Nigeria to relocate to more developed
countries
like Canada in order to
improve
the quality of education received by the child.

On the
other
hand, others
think
that this
big
move
might
be
hard
for a
child
because
of the psychological effect it
might
create. This is
because
a
move
to a
new
place means a
change
of environment and friends and the young one
might
find it difficult to adapt to this,
thus
, resulting in loneliness which could
inadvertently
lead to depression in the offspring.
For example
, the WHO reported a surge in depression among children in 2018
as a result
of relocation to a
new
state.

In conclusion
, although relocating a
child
to a
new
state
might
have a depressing effect on a
child
, I believe that parents relocate their children in order to afford them a better education which
might
not be available in their present state.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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