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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v.28

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 28
Nowadays, advertisement has become a very popular way of showcasing new products. Some people argue that this trend has led to a lot of people buying things they do not need, others believe it is the best way to reach out to inform people about a product that could be beneficial to the public. I will discuss my viewpoint in this essay. Firstly, any new brand, whether good or bad must get to the market. It is a known fact that an advertisement is very important for any product to reach a wider market. In the process of advertising these products the companies generally describe what these products are and what they can do for people so the question of buying irrelevant products which is not needed becomes relative. For instance, if a product is met to improve hair growth and advertised as such, it should not be used for other purpose. Secondly, if we continue to argue the fact that people buy irrelevant things because of the glorious advertisement put on them, that point will become weak when we look at the role of many regulatory organizations now in place in many countries. These organizations tend to now check all the excessive glory many companies give to their products. Therefore, these companies are made to put a caveat, if necessary on these items. For example, for drug related products - certain regulatory agencies have put a restriction on exaggerated efficacies of some products. This is also true for some product like cigarettes where the public is also made to understand the harmful effects of such products. In conclusion, I strongly support that all new products that will be beneficial to the public be advertised to create awareness and improve the lives of people.
Nowadays, advertisement has become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular way of showcasing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that this trend has led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
buying things they do not need, others believe it is the best way to reach out to inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that could be beneficial to the public. I will discuss my viewpoint in this essay.

Firstly
, any new brand, whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the market. It is a known fact that an advertisement is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to reach a wider market. In the process of advertising these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
what these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are and what they can do for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the question of buying irrelevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which is not needed becomes relative.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is met
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
hair growth and advertised as such, it should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for other purpose.

Secondly
, if we continue to argue the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
irrelevant things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the glorious advertisement put on them, that point will become weak when we look at the role of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regulatory organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in place in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. These organizations tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
all the excessive glory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
give to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Therefore
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are made
to put a caveat, if necessary on these items.
For example
, for drug related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
certain regulatory agencies have put a restriction on exaggerated
Possible spelling mistake found.
efficacies
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This is
also
true for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "products"?
product
like cigarettes where the public is
also
made to understand the harmful effects of such products.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
support that all new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that will be beneficial to the public
be advertised
to create awareness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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