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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v.19

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 19
Nowadays, advertising is one of the best marketing strategies to promote the sale of goods. Many people argue that commercials largely influence people to purchase unwanted things. However, in my opinion I believe that commercials are crucial in the development of our living standards. To begin with, the influence of advertisements on modern lifestyle is inevitable. With the ads in TV, radio and newspaper, people get familiar with the different products available in the market. Moreover, they inform about the specifications of items, its benefits, and the ways, by which it improves our lives, thus the people are able to decide the things they should buy. For instance, the commercials about mobiles, and its latest versions in media help common people to understand about the latest features, thus they are allowed to compare and buy the best valuable product. On the other hand, commercials can also leads to the purchase of unwanted items. With the large number of ads, some people are insisted to buy the items that are not essential, and it leads to unwanted expenses. . For example, celebrities and sports players in advertisements promote items especially, cosmetic items like fairness cream, thus people are insisted to purchase unnecessarily by blindly believing in the tricks and methodologies used. In conclusion, even though the commercials provoke people to buy unwanted items, it is crucial in developing an idea about the availability of different items, which improve our lives. As the advertisements are used for the promotion of brand and products, it is true that the people are able to buy the best items.
Nowadays, advertising is one of the best marketing strategies to promote the sale of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that commercials
largely
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwanted
things.
However
, in my opinion I believe that commercials are crucial in the development of our living standards.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the influence of advertisements on modern lifestyle is inevitable. With the ads in TV, radio and newspaper,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
products available in the market.
Moreover
, they inform about the specifications of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, its benefits, and the ways, by which it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to decide the things they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
.
For instance
, the commercials about mobiles, and its latest versions in media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to understand about the latest features,
thus
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to compare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the best valuable product.

On the other hand
, commercials can
also
leads to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. With the large number of ads,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are insisted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
that are not essential, and it leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwanted
expenses.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
For example
, celebrities and sports players in advertisements promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
especially
, cosmetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
like fairness cream,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are insisted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
unnecessarily
by
blindly
believing in the tricks and methodologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

In conclusion
,
even though
the commercials provoke
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, it is crucial in developing an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the availability of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. As the advertisements are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the promotion of brand and products, it is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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