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It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree'? v.2

It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. '? v. 2
It wastes a lot of money to renovate old buildings nowadays. While, some people think that we have to spend money on the new building. Overall, I completely disagree with the statement. The old building can represent the history also it can use to be the travel attraction to learn about the place including the new generation can know and understand how they're becoming. Many people disagree with spend money with the old building. According to individual perspective, I think it's good to save and maintenance. Many people think that it is just the normal building that over the time to use. However, it can be a good thing to show the history about the place. For instance, how people lived in the past and also it is about the architecture that new generation or even next century people develop the technology they cannot do the same with the original one. I will give the example from my home country we have the beautiful traditional house that In, this period of time hard to find. While, we can just find the one that new generation make it up. Another reason of this that, if the government can come to take action and open it to be a tourist attraction like museum it can encourage many visitors, both foreign and local people to visit the place. Also, it can encourage people to visit the place. Another key point is it will very use full if there have the show or speaker that present about the information for all people that interest to learn about the history how the traditional people look like. In conclusion, the old building can represent many things so it very important to look after and save them for next generation to see how people in past lifestyle. Someone should take action about this thing always develop it. So I didn't think that repair old building is too expensive.
It wastes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to renovate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
nowadays.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
.
Overall
, I completely disagree with the statement. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
can represent the history
also
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to be the travel attraction to learn about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation can know and understand how they're becoming.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with spend money with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. According to individual perspective, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to save and maintenance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
that over the time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
However
, it can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the history about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
For instance
, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the past and
also
it is about the architecture that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation or even
next
century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
develop the technology they cannot do the same with the original one. I will give the example from my home country we have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
that In, this period of time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, we can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
find the one that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it up.

Another reason of this that, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to take action and open it to be a tourist attraction like museum it can encourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
visitors, both foreign and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Also
, it can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Another key point is it will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
full if there have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
or speaker that present about the information for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that interest to learn about the history how the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look like.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
can represent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to look after and save them for
next
generation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in past lifestyle. Someone should take action about this thing always develop it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I didn't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that repair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is too expensive.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. '? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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