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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. v.18

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 18
Trends of shopping are changing with the passage of time. Nowadays, People follow what they see. This can further elaborate as people shop more often today as they did in the past. Some people think this is because of the introduction of advertisement in the social media, for example, publicity of adds in tv channels. Also, it helps people to improve their lives with the introduction of new trendy products. In my opinion, it is a good source to get to know about new materials coming in market. This viewpoint explained further in the description. First of all, let’s talk about the significance of the advertisement. In the past, people did not have the resources to get to know about what is going on in the world’s market, but now they have a lot of ways to improve their lives by facilitating themselves with the ongoing and upcoming trends of the society. For its further description, for example, ponds new skin toning cream, which is new in the market and is very good for people with dry and bad complexion. This helps encourage buying products, that are good to improve our lives. Furthermore, displaying marketing strategies through advertisement is not always the way to make people buy useless products or excess stuff, because with this technique one can see a variety of different products and associate it with their requirements. Last but not the least, still excess of everything is bad, even it is extra usable material or something that is not our basic need. Still, diverse quality of things with different quantities has been always the greatest source to choose what you want.
Trends of shopping are changing with the passage of time. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
follow what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
. This can
further
elaborate as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shop more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
as they did in the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the introduction of advertisement in the social media,
for example
, publicity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
channels.
Also
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
trendy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
materials coming in market. This viewpoint
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
further
in the description.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s talk about the significance of the advertisement. In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not have the resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about what is going on in the world’s market,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by facilitating themselves with the ongoing and upcoming trends of the society. For its
further
description,
for example
, ponds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
skin toning cream, which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
in the market and is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with dry and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
complexion. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
encourage buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Furthermore
, displaying marketing strategies through advertisement is not always the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
useless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or excess stuff,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with this technique one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and associate it with their requirements.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
still
excess of everything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, even it is extra usable material or something
that is
not our basic need.
Still
, diverse quality of things with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
quantities has been always the greatest source to choose what you want.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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