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Nowadays, with the advancement of technology, people can work and live anywhere they want. Do its advantages outweigh disadvantages? v.1

Nowadays, with the advancement of technology, people can work and live anywhere they want. Do its advantages outweigh disadvantages? v. 1
The world has changed drastically in recent times, thanks to the advent of technology. People are no longer required to be physically present at the office to do their work. The advantages of working from home far outweighs its disadvantages. On the one hand, management of remote employees is becoming a tedious task. For example, it is easy to track a person who is working in an office rather than a person working from home. In Addition, conducting team meeting over the internet can be a challenging, as there is complete dependence on the internet service providers. Therefore, managing a team is a major problem. On the other hand, most people in the metros can save on their travel hours. For instance, in a recent survey conducted by TCS states that 80 percent of people spend more than one and a half hours daily commuting to office. This travelling can be utilized to perform concrete activities. Moreover, less of travelling saves energy and improves concentration of employees. Time and energy are two aspects that are important for an individual. In conclusion, employees are no longer required to be physically present in order to complete their work. Although, there are some drawbacks such as time management and team coordination, advantages of saving time and energy have significant importance. In my opinion, organizations should start changing their attitude towards working from home and build tools that can help overcome the above disadvantages.
The world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, thanks to the advent of technology.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are no longer required to be
physically
present at the office to do their work. The advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home far outweighs its disadvantages.

On the one hand, management of remote employees is becoming a tedious task.
For example
, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
a person who is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in an office
rather
than a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home.
In Addition
, conducting team meeting over the internet can be a challenging, as there is complete dependence on the internet service providers.
Therefore
, managing a team is a major problem.

On the other hand
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the metros can save on their travel hours.
For instance
, in a recent survey conducted by TCS states that 80 percent of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend more than one and a half hours daily commuting to office. This
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
travelling


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
can
be utilized
to perform concrete activities.
Moreover
, less of travelling saves energy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
concentration of employees.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
and energy are two aspects that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for an individual.

In conclusion
, employees are no longer required to be
physically
present in order to complete their work. Although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management and team coordination, advantages of saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy have significant importance. In my opinion, organizations should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
changing their attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home and build tools that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
overcome the above disadvantages.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Nowadays, with the advancement of technology, people can work and live anywhere they want. Do its advantages outweigh disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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