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Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.3

The idea that, studying at university right after finishing school or getting a job such as serving society is more beneficial, remains a source of controversy. Whilst numerous individuals hold the perception that applying for a job would be a brilliant decision for students, I would also argue that every person should continue their studies for the reasons which I am going to present in my essay. On the one hand, taking a job has its own notable merits. Firstly, it is widely acknowledged that acquiring new activities like constructing buildings or fixing cars without any help will absolutely assist pupils to have a good life. All of them will face few problems that relate to money providing that he or she has a job to do. Secondly, each person can allocate adequate money for purchasing items they need and can feed their families. A well-paid job, for instance, can make a major contribution to buying products which are essential in everyday life. On the other hand, I am convinced in my belief that going to a university in lieu of working somewhere is much more advantageous. The first benefit is that a university diploma can have an indispensable position in reaching a decision of making a great deal of money. As a matter of fact, there is a huge difference between a high school graduate and a worker due to knowledge they have in a particular field. Another benefit that attracts the most publicity is that he or she can travel a considerable amount to various places. Those who advocate this view feel that their jobs create convenience of making journeys for graduates at the max rate. To conclude, it seems to me that it is better to enter a university because of some outstanding points although other people insist on preferring to work.
The
idea
that, studying at
university
right after finishing school or getting a
job
such as serving society is more beneficial, remains a source of controversy. Whilst numerous individuals hold the perception that applying for a
job
would be a brilliant decision for students, I would
also
argue that every person should continue their studies for the reasons which I am going to present in my essay.

On the one hand, taking a
job
has its
own
notable merits.
Firstly
, it is
widely
acknowledged that acquiring new activities like constructing buildings or fixing cars without any
help
will
absolutely
assist pupils to have a
good
life. All of them will face few problems that relate to money providing that he or she has a
job
to do.
Secondly
, each person can allocate adequate money for purchasing items they need and can feed their families. A well-paid
job
,
for instance
, can
make
a major contribution to buying products which are essential in everyday life.

On the other hand
, I
am convinced
in my belief that going to a
university
in lieu of working somewhere is much more advantageous. The
first
benefit is that a
university
diploma can have an indispensable position in reaching a decision of making a great deal of money. As a matter of fact, there is a huge difference between a high school graduate and a worker due to knowledge they have in a particular field. Another benefit that attracts the most publicity is that he or she can travel a considerable amount to various places. Those who advocate this view feel that their
jobs
create convenience of making journeys for graduates at the max rate.

To conclude
, it seems to me that it is better to enter a
university
because
of
some
outstanding points although other
people
insist on preferring to work.
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IELTS essay Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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