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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v.11

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 11
Advertisement has been an integral part of marketing any product and promoting its unique features to boost its sales. However, many would argue that these flashy promotion compels the viewers in buying stuff which they do not require, while others say it educates the people regarding new products in the market and their benefits to the society. I my opinion, advertisement do spread awareness about new exciting technologies which have positive impact on its users rather than making us buy useless things. The main objective of any advertisement campaign is to increase the sales and ultimately capture larger market share as possible. They run their programs in such a manner that exaggerates even the tiniest improvement to be ground breaking innovation. This misleads the consumers in buying the product with no significant value addition. For example, Mango Inc. sells their new phones stating it has improved camera performance, where as in reality the bump up in camera performance in negligible and does not add any value over its older counterpart. On the other hand, certain advertising campaign do spread awareness about the new products and its benefits. For instance, the MyFit launched its Fit2 bands incorporated with a heart sensor which continuously monitors the heart beat and alters medical emergencies service in case of any fatal event. Such promotion educates the masses, about the product and its services, by enlisting the unique features which did not exist in the old models. In conclusion, advertisement enabling people too known about new product launches and the advantages of owning them, in my opinion by far outweighs the argument that such promotion leads to unwanted purchases. Although, they compel us to purchase goods which tends to be less useful, we cannot deny how much they educate us about new goods that might enhance our lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
has been an integral part of marketing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and promoting its unique features to boost its sales.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
would argue that these flashy promotion compels the viewers in buying stuff which they do not require, while others say it educates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the market and their benefits to the society. I my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
do spread awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
exciting technologies which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on its users
rather
than making us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
useless things.

The main objective of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
campaign is to increase the sales and
ultimately
capture larger market share as possible. They run their programs in such a manner that exaggerates even the tiniest improvement to
be ground
breaking innovation. This misleads the consumers in buying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
with no significant value addition.
For example
, Mango Inc. sells their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
phones stating it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
camera performance,
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
in reality the bump up in camera performance in negligible and does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
any value over its older counterpart.

On the other hand
, certain advertising campaign do spread awareness about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and its benefits.
For instance
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
MyFit
launched its Fit2 bands incorporated with a heart sensor which
continuously
monitors the heart beat and alters medical emergencies service in case of any fatal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. Such promotion educates the masses, about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and its services, by enlisting the unique features which did not exist in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
models.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
enabling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
too known about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
launches and the advantages of owning them, in my opinion by far outweighs the argument that such promotion leads to unwanted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
. Although, they compel us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which tends to be less useful, we cannot deny how much they educate us about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that might enhance our lifestyle.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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