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More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign countries. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? v.4

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign countries. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? v. 4
It is commonly said that today in the world tourism has brought many changes among the people's life. It helps to local people in various ways. So I firmly disagree with the given statement that foreign tourists should be charged more than local people, when they visit to another nation. In following paragraphs, I shall discuss a number of arguments. To begin with, why tourists should be charged more than local people. There are several reasons, which are contributing in this phenomenon. The first prime cause is that visitors are the backbone of every economy in the whole world because it provides a job and other opportunities to local people. So if the local people do double charge from tourists than as a result, they can easily maintain their country because lots of foreigners can afford the price list of other native nations. For example, in my own country India, which is very popular for the historical background and cultural or traditional background. So when they visit in India, they easily afford the cost of products and other stuff because their currency is very high compared to India. However, why tourists should not be charged more than local people because there have also some causes. The major reason is that it puts the effect on trade such as hotels, restaurants and public transport and private transport, when the tourists will not go to historical places. Moreover, it also effect upon the communication because when the tourists visit in city and rural areas, it is very helpful for the local people, they have a chance to learn new languages from visitors. So if the local people take the equally charged from tourists and local visitors. Moving further, two other big reason is that the importance of historical places would be reduced, if the local people take the more charge from visitors. Even culture and tradition also would be falling down. To sum up, I pen down concluding, tourists and local visitors should pay the same money to visit cultural and historical places. So both have equal rights to visit anywhere.
It is
commonly
said that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in the world tourism has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in various ways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
firmly
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement that foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
should
be charged
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
to another nation. In following paragraphs, I shall discuss a number of arguments.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
should
be charged
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are several reasons, which are contributing in this phenomenon. The
first
prime cause is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
are the backbone of every economy in the whole world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides a job and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do double charge from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
than
as a result
, they can
easily
maintain their country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lots of foreigners can afford the price list of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
native nations.
For example
, in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country India, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
background and cultural or traditional background.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
in India, they
easily
afford the cost of products and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
stuff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their currency is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high compared to India.

However
, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
should not
be charged
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there have
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes. The major reason is that it puts the effect on trade such as hotels, restaurants and public transport and private transport, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
will not go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
places.
Moreover
, it
also
Did you mean "effects"?
effect
upon the communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
in city and rural areas, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they have a chance to learn new languages from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take the
equally
charged from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors.

Moving
further
, two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
reason is that the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
places would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take the more charge from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. Even culture and tradition
also
would be falling down.

To sum up, I pen down concluding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
should pay the same money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
cultural and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
both have equal rights to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
anywhere.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign countries. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
349 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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