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You are due to start an English language course next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the manager of the language school, Sally Flannigan. In your letter: explain your situationdescribe your problemstell him v.1

You are due to start an English language course next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the manager of the language school, Sally Flannigan. In your letter: explain your situationdescribe your problemstell him v. 1
With advancement of modern society, every aspect of judgements on misbehaviour has altered, and while some proponents believe that famous sports players can misbehave on or off the field, as long as they play well, I believe that this phenomenon will bring some negative repercussions in the future. It is undeniable that famous sportswomen and sportsmen’s misbehaviour on or off field could provide a variety of benefits. Most of all, some teams which have the star players are unlikely to face financial loss since the teams will have more big fans of them. According to recent research, 7 out of 10 sports teams in South Korea tend to insist that the star players, regardless of their misbehaviours on or off the field, can lead the teams to win more with tickets power, which contributes to developments of the teams. Next, this will encourage other teams in sports. Even they do not have star players, the teams may have more chances to be exposed to random audiences, earning more money. However, it is universally accepted that professional sports players’ misbehaviour on or off field will create a diversity of demerits. First of all, some players are going to have less opportunities as they have exposed worse behaviours situations on or off field, affecting the public in negative ways such as drugs or domestic violence. Secondly, average health status among young generations, especially teenagers, can decrease since they are immature. The majority of high school students in China, for instance, have a tendency to see sports game online and offline to release their stress. It means that they have been experiencing misbehaviours by the players. This one of the main causes in regard to trivial crimes, according to some studies associated with social science. In conclusion, although it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well, I contend that this will play a crucial role more than other ways.
With advancement of modern society, every aspect of judgements on
Possible spelling mistake. 'misbehaviour' is British English.
misbehaviour
has altered, and while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proponents believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
can misbehave on or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, as long as they play well, I believe that this phenomenon will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
repercussions in the future.

It is undeniable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
sportswomen and sportsmen’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'misbehaviour' is British English.
misbehaviour
on or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
could provide a variety of benefits. Most of all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
which have the star
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
are unlikely to face financial loss since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
will have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fans of them. According to recent research, 7 out of 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
in South Korea tend to insist that the star
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
, regardless of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
misbehaviours
on or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, can lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
to win more with tickets power, which contributes to developments of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
.
Next
, this will encourage other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Even they do not have star
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
may have more chances to
be exposed
to random audiences, earning more money.

However
, it is
universally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players’
Possible spelling mistake. 'misbehaviour' is British English.
misbehaviour
on or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
will create a diversity of demerits.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
are going to have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun opportunities is countable.
less
opportunities as they have exposed worse
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
situations on or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, affecting the public in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ways such as drugs or domestic violence.
Secondly
, average health status among young generations,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, can decrease since they are immature. The majority of high school students in China,
for instance
, have a tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
game online and offline to release their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. It means that they have been experiencing
Possible spelling mistake found.
misbehaviours
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. This one of the main causes in regard to trivial crimes, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studies associated with social science.

In conclusion
, although it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, as long as they are playing well, I contend that this will play a crucial role more than other ways.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You are due to start an English language course next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the manager of the language school, Sally Flannigan. In your letter: explain your situationdescribe your problemstell him v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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