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Some people say thai too much attetion and resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion? v.2

Some people say thai too much attetion and resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. about this opinion? v. 2
Some people think that paying attention and investing money to protect wild animals and birds are not worth. Personally, I completely disagree with this point of view. There are many reasons why wild animals and birds need more attention and resources. Firstly, nowadays, the number of extincted animals are increasing. There are many people still hunting elephants for their teeth or killing tiger to make leather. It means that the resouces spent on protecting animals are not enough and people have not seriously concerned about this prolem. So that is neccessary to raise more awareness and invest more resources to protect wild animals and birds. Secondly, protecting wild animals and birds is essential for human existing. For instance, protecting rain forests where many animals and birds live not only ensure the environment for them to continue existing but also help people prevent floods and regulate the air quality. Therefore, the protection of wild animals and birds is a good way tho ensure the living of human and it is worth investing resources and human power. In conclusion, I believe that we need to pay more attention and spend more resources to protect wild animals and birds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that paying attention and investing money to protect wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
are not worth.
Personally
, I completely disagree with this point of view.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
need more attention and resources.
Firstly
, nowadays, the number of extincted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are increasing. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
hunting elephants for their teeth or killing tiger to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
leather. It means that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
resouces
spent on protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not
seriously
concerned about this
Possible spelling mistake found.
prolem
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that is
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccessary
to raise more awareness and invest more resources to protect wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and birds.

Secondly
, protecting wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
is essential for human existing.
For instance
, protecting rain forests where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ensure the environment for them to continue existing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
floods and regulate the air quality.
Therefore
, the protection of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way tho ensure the living of human and it is worth investing resources and human power.

In conclusion
, I believe that we need to pay more attention and spend more resources to protect wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say thai too much attetion and resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. about this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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