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TPO 27 agree or not If people have the opportunity to get a secure job they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying v.1

TPO 27 agree or not If people have the opportunity to get a secure job they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying v. 1
In today' s VUCA (volatile and complex) world, finding a job is really hard rather than seeking a suitable one. There are mutually exclusive ideas regarding whether people must fit in the job that is availabe for them at the time or they do not have to stop looking for their favorite job until they find it. In my personal view, I am inclined to the latter notion in spite of the fact that the former has more aficionados among adults. My answer to this debating bone of contention is twofold, and in the following, the rationale behind it will be elaborated by the most outstanding, solid proofs. The first and foremost reason which is worth mentioning is that individuals will eagerly work in their majors provided that they love their jobs. Moreover, in that case, they enthusiastically want to improve themselves and develop their work-related skills, mainly because they are satisfied with their jobs. Through the lens of academics, researchers of RMIT, a renowned university in Australia, concluded that an individual must devote 10, 000 hours if they want to be professional in a specific field. They insist that if they do not like that job personally, they will not take that amount of time for their development and finally will lose their interest. To put it into a more vivid picture, my friend, Ali, is into making model airplanes. However, his parents, especially his mother, forced him to work as a clerk in an office which he hated alot. After challenging himself to accept his destiny, he quit that job and continued his prospective hobby and worked at least twelve hours a day to reach his objectives. Now, he is a well-known creative modeler whose airplanes are being sold for a hefty amount of money. The second and equally far-reaching explanation to bear in mind is that following the dream job will increase self-esteem and self-confidence which is hardly achieved if a person do not like what they do. As an illustration, I had been working in a post-tentioning concrete factory in Kerman province before I finished my service in military. My manager once asked me to stay and work for them, but as that job did not fulfill my eagerness, which made me unhappy and depressed, I quickly rejected his offer and got out of there. In that time, I knew I was going to be a stock market trader for the rest of my life; threfore, without any hesitation I followed my dream although my parents were not supporting me because of my decision. At last, after working my head off for five years, I mastered my field and now make a preponderance amount of money each and every year. If I had stayed in that former job, I could not have raised my self-esteem to pursue my goal. In conclusion, taking all the aforementioned facts into account, I think that waiting to find a personal satisfactory job is better in comparison to work anyway. This action will be professionally profitable for people insomuch as they are eager to develop their skills and competencies. Moreover, as they are pleased, their self-esteem and self-confidence will not decrease.
In
today&
#039; s
VUCA
(volatile and complex) world, finding a
job
is
really
hard
rather
than seeking a suitable one. There are
mutually
exclusive
ideas
regarding whether
people
must
fit in the
job
that is
availabe
for them at the
time or
they do not
have to
stop
looking for their favorite
job
until they find it. In my personal view, I
am inclined
to the latter notion
in spite of
the fact that the former has more aficionados among adults. My answer to this debating bone of contention is twofold, and in the following, the rationale behind it will
be elaborated
by the most outstanding, solid proofs.

The
first
and foremost reason which is worth mentioning is that individuals will
eagerly
work
in their majors provided that they
love
their
jobs
.
Moreover
,
in that case
, they
enthusiastically
want to
improve
themselves and develop their work-related
skills
,
mainly
because
they
are satisfied
with their
jobs
. Through the lens of academics, researchers of
RMIT
, a renowned university in Australia, concluded that an individual
must
devote 10, 000 hours if they want to be professional in a specific field. They insist that if they do not like that
job
personally
, they will not take that amount of time for their development and
finally
will lose their interest. To put it into a more vivid picture, my friend, Ali, is into making model airplanes.
However
, his parents,
especially
his mother, forced him to
work
as a clerk in an office which he hated
alot
. After challenging himself to accept his destiny, he quit that
job
and continued his prospective hobby and worked at least twelve hours a day to reach his objectives.
Now
, he is a well-known creative modeler whose airplanes are
being sold
for a hefty amount of money.

The second and
equally
far-reaching explanation to bear in mind is that following the dream
job
will increase self-esteem and self-confidence which is hardly achieved if a person do not like what they do. As an illustration, I had been working in a
post-tentioning
concrete factory in
Kerman
province
before
I finished my service in military. My manager once asked me to stay and
work
for them,
but
as that
job
did not fulfill my eagerness, which made me unhappy and depressed, I
quickly
rejected his offer and
got
out of there. In that time, I knew I was going to be a stock market trader for the rest of my life;
threfore
, without any hesitation I followed my dream although my parents were not supporting me
because
of my decision. At last, after working my head off for five years, I mastered my field and
now
make
a preponderance amount of money each and every year. If I had stayed in that former
job
, I could not have raised my self-esteem to pursue my goal.

In conclusion
, taking all the aforementioned facts into account, I
think
that waiting to find a personal satisfactory
job
is better
in comparison
to
work
anyway. This action will be
professionally
profitable for
people
insomuch as they are eager to develop their
skills
and competencies.
Moreover
, as they are
pleased
, their self-esteem and self-confidence will not decrease.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay TPO 27 agree or not If people have the opportunity to get a secure job they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
530 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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