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Some people say supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packages for products they sell. Others say it is the responsibility of consumers by avoiding such products. Discuss both views and provide examples. v.1

Some people say supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packages for products they sell. Others say it is the responsibility of consumers by avoiding such products. v. 1
It has often been argued by some people that the primary issue associated with the education of poor countries is the methods of teaching, whereas some folks firmly say that shortage of teaching resources is the main reason. In my opinion, I believe both of them contributes towards the issues in education in the developing countries. On one hand, firstly the poor countries follow the traditional methods of teaching which completely emphasize on imparting theoretical knowledge and lacks in providing practical understanding. Thus, it becomes an uphill task for the student to become proficient in the respective subject. For example, a study by Oxford university has proved that student learn better when they perform practical of the things they have studied in the class. Secondly, due to low remuneration and stiff competition in the education sector, no one want to adopt teaching as their profession. On the other hand, lack of resources is also considered to be the real problem for the developing nations. The introduction of technology in the education domain has brought many wonders. However, due to the hefty cost of the technology it becomes difficult for the poor countries to afford such expenses. For instance, many countries do not have the access to the internet because of its expensive price. In addition to this, the poor nations are also not capable of providing basic amenities such as smart libraries, school buildings and computer labs as they do not have enough money resources. In conclusion, I assert that the old teaching methods and insufficient resources are putting a negative impact on the education system of the developing countries which results in low economic growth of needy nations.
It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
been argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that the primary issue associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is the methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks
firmly
say that shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
resources is the main reason. In my opinion, I believe both of them contributes towards the issues in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.

On one hand,
firstly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
follow the traditional methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
which completely emphasize on imparting theoretical knowledge and lacks in providing practical understanding.
Thus
, it becomes an uphill task for the student to become proficient in the respective subject.
For example
, a study by Oxford university has proved
The verb 'learn' is plural. Did you mean: "that student learns"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that student learn
better when they perform practical of the things they have studied in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Secondly
, due to low remuneration and stiff competition in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector, no one want to adopt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
as their profession.

On the other hand
, lack of resources is
also
considered to be the real problem for the developing nations. The introduction of technology in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
domain has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wonders.
However
, due to the hefty cost of the technology it becomes difficult for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to afford such expenses.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not have the access to the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its expensive price.
In addition
to this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
nations are
also
not capable of providing basic amenities such as smart libraries, school buildings and computer labs as they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money resources.

In conclusion
, I assert that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
methods and insufficient resources are putting a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system of the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which results in low economic growth of needy nations.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packages for products they sell. Others say it is the responsibility of consumers by avoiding such products. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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