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The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
Many people think that having a hard routine allows them to manage their lives easily. Others, however, think that spontaneous changes to their daily basis make life more curious and exiting. In my view, I consider that having a tough routine may provide more interesting benefits. On the one hand, having a strict daily routine has some both pros and cons. For example, successful employers have to be careful on their daily life to keep their routine stable. Otherwise, it may cause some issues on their job. However, If a person has balanced routine, It may bring some wonderful benefits. For instance, keeping time equality between your family and job. Furthermore, spending enough time with your family and friends and also being a successful person for your job at the same time. On the other hand, It is often believed that it is better to have a spontaneous change in your life all the time. The nature of humanity also includes unexpected changes in every moment in life, but is it true to keep your life stable? For instance, the most of the businessman are not interested in changes in their job because fluctuation sometimes produces stress. Moreover, this kind of people are always patient to wait the true time for changing their life. Consequently, changes sometimes may worry people in their life. Although, people want to switch their life, It will be better to make precautions. Finally, As I mentioned, It might be scary or hazardous to be always ready for unexpected changes. However, It depends on the situation. Sometimes people have to be ready for changes because the same routine also causes some various things such as success. At least this routine has to be changed after a while. Even if the person does not change it, life will change it naturally after a while. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I think that having a strict routine has got better advantages. As I mentioned, the routine also provides better conditions for success in life. Moreover, self-esteem and self-confidence is also another benefit. Therefore, better conditions and more progress are what you are looking for, It will be better to set up an effective routine.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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having
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easily
. Others,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that spontaneous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
to their daily basis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more curious and exiting. In my view, I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
may provide more interesting benefits.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a strict daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
both pros and cons.
For example
, successful employers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be careful on their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
stable.
Otherwise
, it may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
However
, If a person has balanced
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routine
, It may bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wonderful benefits.
For instance
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
equality between your family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Furthermore
, spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with your family and friends and
also
being a successful person for your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at the same time.

On the other hand
, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to have a spontaneous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The nature of humanity
also
includes unexpected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in every moment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is it true to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
stable?
For instance
, the most of the businessman are not interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
fluctuation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
produces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Moreover
, this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always patient to wait the true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for changing their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
may worry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to switch their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, It will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
precautions.

Finally
, As I mentioned, It might be scary or hazardous to be always ready for unexpected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
.
However
, It depends on the situation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be ready for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
also
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
various things such as success. At least this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
after a while. Even if the person does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
it
naturally
after a while.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
advantages. As I mentioned, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
also
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
conditions for success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, self-esteem and self-confidence is
also
another benefit.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
conditions and more progress are what you are looking for, It will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to set up an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
370 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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