Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say success in a person’s life as an adult is the result of the way he was brought up by his parents. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say success in a person’s life as an adult is the result of the way he was brought up by his parents. v. 1
We are living in a complex world and dealing with a various types of people. Indeed, the family methods of raising their children have a significant impact on their life. I totally agree with this argument as children are always inspired by their parents and keep on with their ambition. This essay will explain how parents inspire their children and how it affects their future. Firstly, parents are responsible to grow confidence in their kids through different ways. Confidence is the most important thing young people needs, it is the quality that they need to face the most challenging troubles and situations in life. Moreover, children who acquire confidence since childhood they tend to be more independent and decision makers. How do parents raise a confident child? For instance, encouraging them to play sports, the other way is not to punish them if they mistake and to explain to them, that they need to learn from these mistakes. Therefore, family have an important role in raising a confident generation. Furthermore, leading by example is one of the best ways of teaching. The younger generation will always follow their model, either it is a good model or bad, so it is important to be the right model for your children so they will follow you. For example, if they saw you helping old people, they will do the same, and if they realize that you are professional in your work, they will pursue the best in their career. Thus, parents should be a good example and try to influence their children by action more than words. In conclusion, parent's actions and raising ways affect directly the children's success in their future and careers. That's why I completely agree with the argument mentioned that parents have a big influence on kid's future. I recommend that parents become a good master, so children will have a good mentor.
We are living in a complex world and dealing with a various
types
of
people
.
Indeed
, the family methods of raising their
children
have a significant impact on their life. I
totally
agree
with this argument as
children
are always inspired by their
parents
and
keep
on with their ambition. This essay will
explain
how
parents
inspire their
children
and how it affects their future.

Firstly
,
parents
are responsible to grow confidence in their kids through
different
ways
. Confidence is the most
important
thing young
people
needs
, it is the quality that they need to face the most challenging troubles and situations in life.
Moreover
,
children
who acquire confidence since childhood they tend to be more independent and decision makers. How do
parents
raise a confident child?
For instance
, encouraging them to play sports, the other
way
is not to punish them if they mistake and to
explain
to them, that they need to learn from these mistakes.
Therefore
, family have an
important
role in raising a confident generation.

Furthermore
, leading by example is one of the best
ways
of teaching. The younger generation will always follow their model, either it is a
good
model or
bad
,
so
it is
important
to be the right model for your
children
so
they will follow you.
For example
, if they
saw
you helping
old
people
, they will do the same, and if they realize that you are professional in your work, they will pursue the best in their career.
Thus
,
parents
should be a
good
example and try to influence their
children
by action more than words.

In conclusion
, parent's actions and raising
ways
affect
directly
the children's success in their future and careers. That's why I completely
agree
with the argument mentioned that
parents
have a
big
influence on kid's future. I recommend that
parents
become a
good
master,
so
children
will have a
good
mentor.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say success in a person’s life as an adult is the result of the way he was brought up by his parents. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts