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Some people say that a person’s success is as a result of the way he has been brought up by his parents. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people say that a person’s success is as a result of the way he has been brought up by his parents. v. 3
Family environment and upbringing has huge impact on the psychology of a child. There are several people who opine that the value system with which the parents raise their children, is the prime reason for the success of their children. The essay will discuss reasons why I completely agree to it. To begin with, it is widely known fact that parents are our first teachers. It is justifiable evident that children during their early years try to emulate their parents in every possible way. For instance, a pilot study done in France indicates children learn around 90% of the things from their parents. They try to imitate them in every possible way. Thus, it is very much necessary for parents to teach good moral values like punctuality, humanity, sharing and other values to their child. In addition, children must also be made self-reliant and independent so that they get the necessary lessons required once they explore the real world. However, to deny importance of parent’s role in their children’s success is completely preposterous. Children raised by parents who lack the necessary moral values tend to engage in antisocial activities. This further explains why children’s coming from criminal backgrounds have a rough past. For example, studies have proved that bad parenting or unhealthy relationship between parents and children is one of the prime reasons for juvenile crime rate being on the rise. Several studies point out that unhappy childhood is the root cause of juvenile committing crimes. To conclude, it is irrefutable to ignore parent’s role in their child’s upbringing. Good parenting skills are the foundation stones which results in child’s success. Parents need to form a bond with their children, whereas children who are abused and have a bad relationship are more like to get involved in unethical or criminal activities.
Family environment and upbringing has huge impact on the psychology of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. There are several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who opine that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
system with which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, is the prime reason for the success of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The essay will discuss reasons why I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
widely
known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are our
first
teachers. It is justifiable evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during their early years try to emulate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in every possible way.
For instance
, a pilot study done in France indicates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn around 90% of the things from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. They try to imitate them in every possible way.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to teach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
moral values like punctuality, humanity, sharing and other values to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
be made
self-reliant and independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the necessary lessons required once they explore the real world.

However
, to deny importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
role in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
success is completely preposterous.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
raised by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who lack the necessary moral values tend to engage in antisocial activities. This
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
coming from criminal backgrounds have a rough past.
For example
, studies have proved that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
parenting or unhealthy relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is one of the prime reasons for juvenile crime rate being on the rise. Several studies point out that unhappy childhood is the root cause of juvenile committing crimes.

To conclude
, it is irrefutable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
role in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
upbringing.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are the foundation stones which results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
success.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
need to form a bond with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are abused
and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
relationship are more like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in unethical or criminal activities.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people say that a person’s success is as a result of the way he has been brought up by his parents. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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