Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Eradication of corruption is not practical or pragmatic, but merely an ideal: give your views v.1

Eradication of corruption is not practical or pragmatic, but merely an ideal: give your views v. 1
Corruption is rising as an ethical and global problem these days. People always easily talk about its eradication in speeches and during elections. However, I believe that it is not practical to eliminate it 100%, as it is deeply rooted in our society. Firstly, it has been a part of human nature since humanity began. For all these years since mankind lived, there has been always one in power & authority and the others would preach in order to make them happy. Likewise, it is natural for humans to have a greed of money, strength, superiority, comfortability and some people also push themselves into the limits. Sometimes, even saints become satans because of this. Moreover, the main reason for having these desires is because of the differences each person has. But if we want to eliminate such defilement, we will have to get rid of all the uniqueness each humans have, which is impossible. For example, even the Philippines are the world’s 1st country with the lowest dishonesty rate but it still exists. Therefore, it can be minimized to maximum but not entirely removed from people’s lives, as these are the habits humans have lived with for a long time. Furthermore, it’s an essential part of the society system and sometimes makes things run smoother and quicker as it encourages people to work faster for an extra spend of money. Since everyone works for money, additional cash is always welcome, as a result, corruption may be a boon for both workers and customers since the work gets done quickly with superior quality and they get paid more. For instance, if you’re stuck with a police problem and have no means to get out, you may offer a favour to the officer to either leave you or penalize you less harshly. Similarly, this is also observed in schools and colleges where teachers give better grades to their favourite students even though their papers were not worth it. Thus, it is almost impossible to completely remove the corruption from the society we’re living in. To conclude, since it is deeply integrated into the structure along with human virtues, I believe that it is close to impossible and complicated to make all Rottnest go away soon enough.
Corruption is rising as an ethical and global problem these days.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
always
easily
talk about its eradication in speeches and during elections.
However
, I believe that it is not practical to eliminate it 100%, as it is
deeply
rooted in our society.

Firstly
, it has been a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
nature since humanity began. For all these years since mankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
, there has been always one in power & authority and the others would preach in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happy.
Likewise
, it is natural for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to have a greed of money, strength, superiority,
Possible spelling mistake found.
comfortability
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
push themselves into the limits.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, even saints become
Possible spelling mistake found.
satans
because of this
.
Moreover
, the main reason for having these desires is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the differences each person has.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if we want to eliminate such defilement, we will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of all the uniqueness each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "human"?
humans
have, which is impossible.
For example
, even the Philippines are the world’s 1st country with the lowest dishonesty rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
still
exists.
Therefore
, it can
be minimized
to maximum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
entirely
removed from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, as these are the habits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
with for a long time.

Furthermore
, it’s an essential part of the society system and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
things run smoother and quicker as it encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work faster for an extra spend of money. Since everyone works for money, additional cash is always welcome,
as a result
, corruption may be a boon for both workers and customers since the work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
done
quickly
with superior
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
quality and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid more.
For instance
, if you’re stuck with a police problem and have no means to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out, you may offer a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
to the officer to either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
you or penalize you less
harshly
.
Similarly
, this is
also
observed in schools and colleges where teachers give better grades to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
students
even though
their papers were not worth it.
Thus
, it is almost impossible to completely remove the corruption from the society we’re living in.

To conclude
, since it is
deeply
integrated into the structure along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
virtues, I believe that it is close to impossible and complicated to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
all
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rottnest
go away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Eradication of corruption is not practical or pragmatic, but merely an ideal: give your views v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts