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Some people say students of different age groups in school should be put in the same class? What is your opinion? v.1

Some people say students of different age groups in school should be put in the same class? What is your opinion? v. 1
Some people believe that students of different ages should be taught in the same class. I certainly disagree with this idea as the learning capacity of students varies with age. Older children have higher cognitive skills which make it possible for them to grasp advanced concepts relatively easily. For example, a ten year old can grasp things more easily than a five year old and hence if they are taught together neither will benefit. If the lessons are tweaked to suit the learning capacity of the younger students, the older students will gain nothing from attending the class. By contrast, if the lessons are designed for the seniors in the class, the juniors will not understand anything. In short, neither will benefit from this arrangement. Another disadvantage of teaching students of different ages in the same class is that it will unnecessarily expose the juniors in the class to the bad habits of seniors. For example a survey in the UK revealed that 80% of young students are bullied by seniors and are forced to try drugs in schools. This peer pressure can push a child into various illegal activities which they will not commit if they are studying with students of their age. To sum up, putting students of different ages in the same class is not a good idea, as it can affect a child’s learning skills and may also expose them to things that are not appropriate for their age. Hence, it is recommended that schools consider the age while enrolling students into different classes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
should
be taught
in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. I
certainly
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as the learning capacity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
varies with age.

Older children have higher cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it possible for them to grasp advanced concepts
relatively
easily
.
For example
, a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "ten-year"
ten year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
can grasp things more
easily
than a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "five-year"
five year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
hence
if they
are taught
together neither will benefit. If the lessons
are tweaked
to suit the learning capacity of the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will gain nothing from attending the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. By contrast, if the lessons
are designed
for the seniors in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, the juniors will not understand anything. In short, neither will benefit from this arrangement.

Another disadvantage of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is that it will
unnecessarily
expose the juniors in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits of seniors.
For example
a survey in the UK revealed that 80% of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are bullied
by seniors and
are forced
to try drugs in schools. This peer pressure can push a child into various illegal activities which they will not commit if they are studying with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of their age.

To sum up, putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, as it can affect a child’s learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and may
also
expose them to things that are not appropriate for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Hence
, it
is recommended
that schools consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
while enrolling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say students of different age groups in school should be put in the same class? What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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