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Some people say smacking children is the best way to discipline them. To what extent you agree with this? v.1

Some people say smacking children is the best way to discipline them. v. 1
Children’s behaviour can be controlled in many ways. Some people believe that spanking their children is the most effective method to discipline them. This essay strongly will argue why corporal punishment is completely unacceptable to train children. Admittedly, every parent wants their children to be well behaved in society. So they are not reluctant to adopt strict methods such as physical punishments to intimidate them from committing guilty deeds. Parents naturally think these steps are effective as many children abstain themselves from unfair activities fearing these punishments. For example, many parents argue that students remain attentive in order to avoid physical punishments if a strict teacher handles the class. In fact, these experiences make them believe that this practice is good despite the fact that children lose their self-confidence in their future life. Although children may behave fearing physical punishments, this idea will definitely affect their psychological developments. When a child is beaten in front of his siblings or classmates, it hurts his self-esteem and eventually makes him an introvert rather than making him a good individual. For instance, many children suffer from mental depression and even hypertension nowadays fearing physical assaults from their parents and tutors when they poorly perform in their studies. This even exacerbates their difficulties in learning. Furthermore, if such children continue to receive these punishments, they will find themselves difficult to socialize with others. Overall, the idea of corporal punishments brings about more repercussions in the distant future than just instilling discipline in them. Inclusion, it is clear that people who believe in spanking children as a disciplinary action have a flawed thought about these punishments and underestimate the effect of what they believe. In my opinion, physical punishments are definitely not the correct way to discipline children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can
be controlled
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that spanking their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is the most effective method to discipline them. This essay
strongly
will argue why corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is completely unacceptable to train children.

Admittedly
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
wants their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well behaved
in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they are not reluctant to adopt strict methods such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
to intimidate them from committing guilty deeds.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
naturally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
these steps are effective as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
abstain themselves from unfair activities fearing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
argue that students remain attentive in order to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
if a strict teacher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
handles
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. In fact, these experiences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this practice is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lose their self-confidence in their future life.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may behave fearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
will definitely affect their psychological developments. When a child
is beaten
in front of his siblings or classmates, it hurts his self-esteem and
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him an introvert
rather
than making him a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
individual.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
suffer from mental depression and even hypertension nowadays fearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
assaults from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and tutors when they
poorly
perform in their studies. This even exacerbates their difficulties in learning.
Furthermore
, if such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
continue to receive these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
, they will find themselves difficult to socialize with others.
Overall
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
brings about more repercussions in the distant future than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
instilling discipline in them.

Inclusion, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in spanking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as a disciplinary action have a flawed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
and underestimate the effect of what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are definitely not the correct way to discipline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say smacking children is the best way to discipline them. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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