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Smacking children is the best way to keep children in discipline. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Smacking children is the best way to keep children in discipline. v. 1
In todays era, maintaining children behaviour is one of the biggest challenges. Some people believe that to keep their youngster in control, hitting is the best option While I completely disagree as smacking little one have way more negative effect on their life. This essay will surround my opinion. There are several reasons why parents believe hitting plays a vital role in the parenthood period. To begin with, Sometimes when children become stubborn and they do not understand the objective of the matter, then in that case parents believes using physical power is the only way out. Indeed, there have been some recorded survey, which reflects, that children who are raised with strictness are more disciplined and well educated when grow up. These few instances have bolstered existing practice of parents to spank their children regularly to keep them on the right track of their life. Despite the misbehaviour concern about the children, the idea that they should be physically harmed is completely preposterous because spanking children have resulted in creating an inbuilt fear in little one's innocent mind, Consequently, there has been a number of cases which came into light such suicide case, deep depression. In Addition, a recent report from a child psychologist says that most of the children divert into negativity due to regular hitting by parents. Furthermore, doctors also support the fact that hitting to extreme sometime result in lifetime pain or damage in the growing body of their kids. Overall, the idea of beating is unnecessary and dangerous itself and could potentially lead to a far worse outcome for society. In conclusion, some parents believe that by giving physical pain only children's behaviour can be regulated; however, I completely disagree as hitting youngsters have a way more negative effect which put their growth on halt.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
era, maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is one of the biggest challenges.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their youngster in control, hitting is the best option While I completely disagree as smacking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
one have way more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their life. This essay will surround my opinion.

There are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
hitting plays a vital role in the parenthood period. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
stubborn and
they do not understand the objective of the matter, then
in that case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
using physical power is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way out.
Indeed
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recorded survey, which reflects, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are raised
with strictness are more disciplined and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
when grow up. These few instances have bolstered existing practice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to spank their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
regularly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them on the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of their life.

Despite the
Possible spelling mistake. 'misbehaviour' is British English.
misbehaviour
concern about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that they should be
physically
harmed is completely preposterous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
spanking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have resulted in creating an inbuilt fear in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
one's innocent mind,
Consequently
, there has been a number of cases which came into light such suicide case, deep depression.
In Addition
, a recent report from a child psychologist says that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
divert into negativity due to regular hitting by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Furthermore
, doctors
also
support the fact that hitting to extreme sometime result in lifetime pain or damage in the growing body of their kids.
Overall
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of beating is unnecessary and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
itself and could
potentially
lead to a far worse outcome for society.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that by giving physical pain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can
be regulated
;
however
, I completely disagree as hitting youngsters have a way more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect which put their growth on halt.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Smacking children is the best way to keep children in discipline. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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