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Smacking children is the best way of discipline. To what extent do u agree or disagree? v.1

Smacking children is the best way of discipline. v. 1
Discipline helps you to control your urges, stay on the path of your goals and provides a structure to your life. Transition in the methods to impart discipline, tells us that there can be multiple ways to achieve it. Smacking children might have done the trick in the past, but today we can resort to various other options at hand. In today's world of connectivity and democracy, smacking children could leave them thinking that are being deprived of their right of opinion and ease of social connectivity being the catalyst to compare with other forms of imparting discipline. Many times children compare their lives with their friends and the variance in the methods could lead them to not believe in discipline altogether. Also with options such incentivising good behaviour, non-violent restriction on bad behaviour and online guide to various other studies could help us achieve discipline as effectively as smacking. Families have also started using examples of online statistics and making the child understand their mistake in a more opaque fashion. Evidently, many methods have failed in the past and smacking has been useful in those times. Every born individual of the 20th century, might have received a spanking for discipline, proving it to be an effective way. Even military training centres, the home of the most disciplined people in the world use smacking as one their strategies, but the application could be contextual. Whenever we fail to impart the intended discipline we might resort smacking as a way to set a strong waypoint for behaviour, but that might not be the only way. In conclusion, I would like to say, change is the only constant, and with the disposal of the internet enabling us to refer so many options, I think smacking for discipline should also be changed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Discipline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you to control your urges, stay on the path of your goals and provides a structure to your life. Transition in the methods to impart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us that there can be multiple ways to achieve it. Smacking children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have done the trick in the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we can resort to various other options at hand.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world of connectivity and democracy, smacking children could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them thinking that are
being deprived
of their right of opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of social connectivity being the catalyst to compare with other forms of imparting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
times children compare their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with their friends and the variance in the methods could lead them to not believe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
altogether.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
with options such
Possible spelling mistake. 'incentivising' is British English.
incentivising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, non-violent restriction on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and online guide to various other studies could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
as
effectively
as smacking. Families have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
using examples of online statistics and making the child understand their mistake in a more opaque fashion.

Evidently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
methods have failed in the past and smacking has been useful in those times.

Every born individual of the 20th century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have received a spanking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
, proving it to be an effective way. Even military training
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, the home of the most disciplined
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smacking as one their strategies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the application could be contextual. Whenever we fail to impart the intended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
resort smacking as a way to set a strong waypoint for
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way.

In conclusion
, I would like to say,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
constant, and with the disposal of the internet enabling us to refer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
smacking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
should
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Smacking children is the best way of discipline. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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