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Smacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Smacking children is the best form of discipline. v. 1
children need to get educated about manners and behaviors from an early age. Some people believe that physical punishment is an effective way of teaching discipline. However, this essay will argue that punishing children physically does not help in developing good behavior in them. On the one hand, Some people think that by corporal punishment one can develop a good sense of discipline in children. There are some reasons why they believe it. By punishing children physically, parents can instill fear in them. This fear can avoid children from doing that mistake again. For example, a parent spanks a child when it runs towards a busy street. This makes the child remember not to repeat that mistake again. Parents choose this type of punishment to achieve fast results. However, they do not think of long term consequences. On the other hand, Punishing children physically will have a lot of long term effects both physically and mentally. There are many instances where children end up physically abused in the name of discipline. Inflicting pain can cause depression and other mental illnesses in children. For example, A research study from Arlington university shows that 45% of mental illness in children is the direct result of excessive physical punishment. Therefore, any sort of punishment like smacking, spanking or slapping can cause serious issues in children. In conclusion, even though many people think that punishing children will make them more disciplined, this essay argued that it will not be the best solution as it will have a detrimental effect on children. In my opinion, rather than corporal punishment, it is good to explain children the effects of their behavior and create awareness in them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
educated about manners and behaviors from an early age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is an effective way of teaching discipline.
However
, this essay will argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physically
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
behavior in them.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that by corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
one can develop a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sense of discipline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why they believe it. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physically
, parents can instill fear in them. This fear can avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from doing that mistake again.
For example
, a parent spanks a child when it runs towards a busy street. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the child remember not to repeat that mistake again. Parents choose this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
results.
However
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of long term consequences.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physically
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
long term effects both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physically
and mentally. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
instances where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physically
abused in the name of discipline. Inflicting pain can cause depression and other mental illnesses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, A research study from Arlington university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 45% of mental illness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is the direct result of excessive physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
Therefore
, any sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
like smacking, spanking or slapping can cause serious issues in children.

In conclusion
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more disciplined, this essay argued that it will not be the best solution as it will have a detrimental effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In my opinion,
rather
than corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the effects of their behavior and create awareness in them.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Smacking children is the best form of discipline. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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