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Some people say that modern innovations bring more problems than benefits .do you agree or disagree

Some people say modern innovations bring lot of problem than benefits? v. 4
Nowadays, Technology is rising at extreme level. Which save the human efforts and leads the country towards economically and financial development. Which has it own advantages and dis-advantages. Some peoples thinks that modern innovation brings more problems than benefits. But, I completely disagree and the upcoming paragraphs will elucidate my viewpoints with the relevant examples. To begin with, In this vast era, Everybody is busy in their hectic schedule. All want to do work in minimal time frame. Undoubtedly, Innovations has fulfilled this demand. To illustrate, During this pandemic situation, Where nobody is allowed to go outside home to buy anything like food, clothes, medicines etc. Online applications has overcome this problem by delivering all the essentials at door steps under government health guidelines. Furthermore, Modern innovative idea's creating more employment and supporting government for finance. For instance, as per recent survey, majority of people spend half of their salary for food and various online companies has taken this benefit. They developed many online apps, where people can order food in cheap price as compare to hotel and too deliver in less time. Which ultimately needs more employee strength to deliver food on time. Therefore, these new creative idea's bring more benefits than problems. To recapitulate, having a modern innovation is good for our society. But, it needs to be balanced and have discipline in using it or putting it into every company. Moreover, I personally agree that it gives more benefits than problems
Nowadays, Technology is rising at extreme level. Which save the human efforts and leads the country towards
economically
and financial development. Which has it
Possible agreement error – use past participle here: "owned".
own
advantages and dis-advantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
peoples
You should probably use "think".
thinks
that modern innovation brings more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I completely disagree and the upcoming paragraphs will elucidate my viewpoints with the relevant examples. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, In this vast era, Everybody is busy in their hectic schedule. All want to do work in minimal time frame.
Undoubtedly
, Innovations has fulfilled this demand. To illustrate, During this pandemic situation, Where nobody is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go outside home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, clothes, medicines etc. Online applications has overcome this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by delivering all the essentials at door steps under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
health guidelines.
Furthermore
, Modern innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
's creating more employment and supporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for finance.
For instance
, as per recent survey,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend half of their salary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and various online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
has taken this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
. They developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
online apps, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
price as compare to hotel and
Did you mean "to deliver"?
too deliver
in less time.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
ultimately
needs more employee strength to deliver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on time.
Therefore
, these new creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
's bring more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. To recapitulate, having a modern innovation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for our society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it needs to
be balanced
and have discipline in using it or putting it into every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Moreover
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it gives more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
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IELTS essay Some people say that modern innovations bring more problems than benefits.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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