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some people say that it is possible to tell about a person's culture and character from their choice of clothes. do you agree or disagree? v.1

some people say that it is possible to tell about a person's culture and character from their choice of clothes. v. 1
There is a common belief that an individual's choice of clothes likely expresses much about his/her background and personality. I tend to disagree because while this choice can tell about the customer's background and trait, this way of interpretation is limited and often cause misleading. To begin with, the choices of clothes, just like anything else, are affected by personality and characters. This is because the brain, which is responsible for decisions, is affected by surroundings. Therefore, when people purchase different items, like clothes, their purchases reflect their background and traits. For instance, whereas teenagers enjoy buying outfits that fulfil their passion and imagination, old people prefer comfort over style. In brief, while it can be deduced some information from person's clothes choice, it is wise not to judge people depend on that solely. On the other hand, the information which can be ascertained from the choices of clothes is inconsistent. Prior to modern life, our ancestors used clothes for protection from either the freezing weather or warm one, and then as the human evolved so did their clothes. There are many factors apart from person's preferences that may aid choices, such as pressure from family and friends, and the financial status. Many rich people, for example, prefer ordinary, middle-class clothes rather than exorbitant despite their fortunate, such as Steve jobs and Mark Zuckerburg. Thus, it is true to never judge a book by its cover. In conclusion, although clothes can convey some details about an individual, like his\her traits or culture, it is unreliable way and often cause misleading.
There is a common belief that an individual's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
likely expresses much about his/her background and personality. I tend to disagree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
while this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about the customer's background and trait, this way of interpretation
is limited
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cause misleading.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like anything else, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by personality and characters. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the brain, which is responsible for decisions, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by surroundings.
Therefore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
items, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
reflect their background and traits.
For instance
, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
enjoy buying outfits that fulfil their passion and imagination,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Use "to" with "prefer." You probably meant this: "prefer comfort to style".
prefer comfort over style
.
In brief
, while it can
be deduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information from person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
, it is wise not to judge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
depend on that
solely
.

On the other hand
, the information which can
be ascertained
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
is inconsistent. Prior to modern life, our ancestors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
for protection from either the freezing weather or warm one, and then as the human evolved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
did their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors apart from person's preferences that may aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
, such as pressure from family and friends, and the financial status.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
for example
, prefer ordinary, middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
rather
than exorbitant despite their fortunate, such as
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Steve jobs
and Mark
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zuckerburg
.
Thus
, it is true to never judge a book by its cover.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
can convey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about an individual, like his\her traits or culture, it is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a unreliable".
unreliable
way and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cause misleading.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay some people say that it is possible to tell about a person's culture and character from their choice of clothes. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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