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Some people say it is impossible to live comfortably in big cities. What solution can be taken to solve these problems v.1

Some people say it is impossible to live comfortably in big cities. What solution can be taken to solve these problems v. 1
Nowadays, it is extensively argued that, metropolitans are causing a sense of unease among the masses. This essay will discuss worsening traffic conditions and increasing crime rates. This essay will also suggest solutions for the problems mentioned above. To begin with, traffic jams are seen to be a norm these days. Insufficient transport systems have encouraged poeple to adapt other forms of convenience, such as cars and motor cycles. As a result, influx of such vehicles on roads has exceeded its maximum capacity, which causes traffic jams. To illustrate this, Toyota has sold highest number of cars worlf wide in this year. In addition higher crime rates has made it difficult people to live in such cities. People are deprived of their valueables in a matter of minuts. As an example, Newyork being one of the biggest cities has recorded 23% increase in crime rates in recent years. To sum it up, traffic conditions and crime struck cities are causes of unease among people, which can be solved by efforts to curb this problem. Turning to the possible solutions, induction of transport systems such as underground subways and monorails could be the best possible solutions to tackle traffic jams. Monorails and subways have dedicated paths which are isolated from roads, which encourages people to travel in them. For example, china has the largest subway network, which has been proved effective given its huge population. Moreover, artificially intelligent cameras should be installed on every street corner to restrict criminals from comitting crimes and bring them to justice. To present as an example. USA has installed such AI cameras which has proved to be effective because of its facial recognition features. Having said this, solutions lie within the problems, with minimal efforts governments could overcome such problems. To conclude, residing in big cities is stirring a debate of unease. However, problems, such as traffic conditions and increasing crime in not something that could not be solved
Nowadays, it is
extensively
argued that, metropolitans are causing a sense of unease among the masses. This essay will discuss worsening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
conditions and increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates. This essay will
also
suggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
for the problems mentioned above.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to be a norm these days. Insufficient transport systems have encouraged
Possible spelling mistake found.
poeple
to adapt other forms of convenience, such as cars and motor cycles.
As a result
, influx of such vehicles on roads has exceeded its maximum capacity, which causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams. To illustrate this, Toyota has sold
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
number of cars
Possible spelling mistake found.
worlf
wide in this year. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates has made it difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are deprived
of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
valueables
in a matter of
Possible spelling mistake found.
minuts
. As an example,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newyork
being one of the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has recorded 23% increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates in recent years. To sum it up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
conditions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
struck
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are causes of unease among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which can
be solved
by efforts to curb this problem.

Turning to the possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
, induction of transport systems such as underground subways and monorails could be the best possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams. Monorails and subways have dedicated paths which
are isolated
from roads, which encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel in them.
For example
, china has the largest subway network, which has
been proved
effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
its huge population.
Moreover
,
artificially
intelligent cameras should
be installed
on every street corner to restrict criminals from
Possible spelling mistake found.
comitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and bring them to justice. To present as an example. USA has installed such AI cameras which has proved to be effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its facial recognition features. Having said this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
lie within the problems, with minimal efforts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
could overcome such problems.

To conclude
, residing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is stirring a debate of unease.
However
, problems, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
conditions and increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in not something that could not
be solved
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people say it is impossible to live comfortably in big cities. What solution can be taken to solve these problems v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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