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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v.1

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 1
In certain countries, it is preferred that students should take a year off from studies after completing high school, prior to joining universities and during this period they are encouraged to work or to travel. Even though this seems to be a noble concept, it has its own merits and demerits and some of these will be illustrated in this essay. Firstly, a year off, after completing years of continuous school education is a welcome break for students and is well deserved too. This period also serves as well earned family time for those pupils who grew up within the closed boundaries of boarding schools. Secondly, this period provides ample opportunities to young people, to experience the realities of the modern world. Those students who prefer a break, can experiment with various forms of employment and thereby decide their career goals and directions depending upon their experiences. The holidaymakers, on the other hand can familiarise with the customs and cultures of various countries, which in turn will widen their outlook and will also promote cultural tolerance. Thus, in a wider perspective, such breaks help the young minds in preparing for the much demanding university life. In contrast, certain disadvantages are definitely associated with this concept and are worth mentioning. Firstly, scholars are of the opinion that, such breaks from studies, during the learning phase of life, affects further education. According to them, such activities should not be encouraged as there are higher chances that the young minds might loose interest in learning or may get demotivated due to various reasons and might ultimately refrain from pursuing university education. Secondly, the employed youth, due to a sudden increase in their purchasing power, might also get attracted to various social evils like drugs, gambling and alcoholism. Thus to sum up, it will be wise to comment that such policies even though are noble practices, should not be made mandatory in a national scale, as these activities are also associated with considerable negative outcome.
In certain countries, it
is preferred
that students should take a year off from studies after completing high school, prior to joining universities and during this period they
are encouraged
to work or to travel.
Even though
this seems to be a noble concept, it has its
own
merits and demerits and
some
of these will
be illustrated
in this essay.

Firstly
, a year off, after completing years of continuous school education is a welcome
break
for students and is well deserved too. This period
also
serves as
well earned
family time for those pupils who grew up within the closed boundaries of boarding schools.
Secondly
, this period provides ample opportunities to young
people
, to experience the realities of the modern world. Those students who prefer a
break
, can experiment with
various
forms of employment and thereby decide their career goals and directions depending upon their experiences. The holidaymakers,
on the other hand
can
familiarise
with the customs and cultures of
various
countries, which in turn will widen their outlook and will
also
promote cultural tolerance.
Thus
, in a wider perspective, such
breaks
help
the young minds in preparing for the much demanding university life.

In contrast
, certain disadvantages are definitely associated with this concept and are worth mentioning.
Firstly
, scholars are of the opinion that, such
breaks
from studies, during the learning phase of life, affects
further
education. According to them, such activities should not
be encouraged
as there are higher chances that the young minds might
loose
interest in learning or may
get
demotivated due to
various
reasons and might
ultimately
refrain from pursuing university education.
Secondly
, the employed youth, due to a sudden increase in their purchasing power, might
also
get
attracted to
various
social evils like drugs, gambling and alcoholism.

Thus
to sum up, it will be wise to comment that such policies
even though
are noble practices, should not
be made
mandatory in a national scale, as these activities are
also
associated with considerable
negative
outcome.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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