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Some people say it is important to keep your home and your work place tidy, with everything organized and in correct place. What is your opinion about this? v.1

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your work place tidy, with everything organized and in correct place. What is your opinion about this? v. 1
So, according to the beliefs of some individuals the place where you live and the place where you work should be neat and clean and all the things should be put on their right assigned area, so I will be sharing about what I think about the topic in this essay. Yes, I do agree with the above statement that if things are neat and clean, then first thing is that the house looks attractive, be it any site. And undoubtedly, having specified places for each thing for example, lets assume we need to find where we have put our clothes that I planned to wear in the part, but today on the party day I am unable to find because there was no specific place assigned to them so now it is spoiling the mood and further creating pressure in mind which in turns make someone feel very irritated, and on the other hand it will always be chaotic if we don't find the important things on time when it's needed most. Another thing is cleanliness, yes, while it looks great, it has more impacts on human health, like most of the time an individual spends on these places in their daily routines, therefore it is more important to maintain its tidiness if they are not clean then there are more chances of getting affected with some common viral or disease. And In addition to going on a virus we also see that how all the doctors and health workers are giving advice's to maintain total hygiene and cleanliness in all the places and surroundings. Finally, I would like to restate my words that one should always maintain the decorum of the places and things irrespective of the area, because it will consequently help the individual only, be it finding things when we need them or saving ourselves from caching any viral or flu.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, according to the beliefs of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where you work should be neat and clean and all the things should
be put
on their right assigned area,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I will be sharing about what I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the topic in this essay.

Yes, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement that if things are neat and clean, then
first
thing is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
looks attractive, be it any site. And
undoubtedly
, having specified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for each thing
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
assume we need to find where we have put our clothes that I planned to wear in the part,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
on the party day I am unable to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there was no specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
assigned to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is spoiling the mood and
further
creating pressure in mind which in turns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "feels", "felt".
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
irritated, and
on the other hand
it will always be chaotic if we don't find the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things on time when it's needed most.

Another thing is cleanliness, yes, while it looks great, it has more impacts on human health, like most of the time an individual spends on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in their daily routines,
therefore
it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to maintain its tidiness if they are not clean
Did you mean "than"?
then
there are more chances of getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
common viral or disease. And
In addition
to going on a virus we
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that how all the doctors and health workers are giving advice's to maintain total hygiene and cleanliness in all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and surroundings.

Finally
, I would like to restate my words that one should always maintain the decorum of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and things irrespective of the area,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
consequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, be it finding things when we need them or saving ourselves from caching any viral or flu.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say it is important to keep your home and your work place tidy, with everything organized and in correct place. What is your opinion about this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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