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Some people say it is important to keep your home and work place tidy with everything organized and in t he correct places. What is your opinion about it? v.1

Some people say it is important to keep your home and work place tidy with everything organized and in t he correct places. What is your opinion about it? v. 1
There are some people who like to make their home and work place neat and tidy with well organized things and put those things in the appropiate places. On the other hand, some people consider that it is not much important for them and they can live and work in a messy place. In my opinion, home and work place are the places in which we spend our most of time in daily route so that it should be a nice place for both working and living. First of all, ther are several advantages from keeping home orderly such as putting things in the suitable places. As a result, when we need something, we can pick up easily from its place in home. If there are toddlers and children in home, the hazadous substances likewise spirit, insect killer sapray are very dangerous for them. Puting thsoe toxic materials with random order after using can be very harmful to the childrens. Besides, a neat and tidy home can make ys a recreation place when we come back from a stressful work place. How can we relax with a messy apperance in our home? Secondly, our work place is our second home. Like a home, it should be a systematic organization with the office things. This is very important to attract our clients impression. The banks and the private hosiptals are good examples. When we go the bank, the well organized reception desk and living room can provide our satisfaction for their services at a first glance so that we prefer to proceed with them. To conclude, although some people might say that it is not much more important to focus keeping home and work place tidy, keeping home and work place in that way can provide many benefits for our daily life.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
neat and tidy with well organized things and put those things in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
appropiate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that it is not much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a messy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. In my opinion, home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in which we spend our
Consider using "most time" or "most of the time".
most of time
in daily route
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it should be a nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for both working and living.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ther are
several advantages from keeping home orderly such as putting things in the suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
As a result
, when we need something, we can pick up
easily
from its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in home. If there are toddlers and children in home, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
hazadous
substances
likewise
spirit, insect killer
Possible spelling mistake found.
sapray
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for them.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Puting
Possible spelling mistake found.
thsoe
toxic materials with random order after using can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
.
Besides
, a neat and tidy home can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
ys
a recreation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back from a stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. How can we relax with a messy
Possible spelling mistake found.
apperance
in our home?

Secondly
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is our second home. Like a home, it should be a systematic organization with the office things. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to attract our clients impression. The banks and the private
Possible spelling mistake found.
hosiptals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
examples. When we go the bank, the well organized reception desk and living room can provide our satisfaction for their services at a
first
glance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we prefer to proceed with them.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might say that it is not much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to focus keeping home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
tidy, keeping home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in that way can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for our daily life.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say it is important to keep your home and work place tidy with everything organized and in t he correct places. What is your opinion about it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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