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Some people say it is important to keep your home and workplace tidy, with everything else organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v.1

Some people say it is important to keep your home and workplace tidy, with everything else organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v. 1
It is said by many that it is essential to keep one’s workplace and home neat and tidy, with all things systematically in the proper place. I completely agree with this view for several reasons. On the one hand, there are a few reasons why other people are on the flip side. Firstly, nowadays individuals are far too busy to keep up with organised workplace and home. For example, my friends, who work in the marketing department hardly finds, time to clean up their homes as well as office, because most of their time is taken by telemarketing and visiting customers. Secondly, elderly people due to old age are not able to perform their daily routine properly therefore, unable to follow tidiness in their homes. Finally, sick people are not strong enough to maintain things orderly. To explain, my neighbour was not able to do any work at home while she was suffering from malaria and her house was in a mess until she recovered from it. If people are going through such situations, they would not keep their home or workplace tidy, while it is essential for them to keep it clean. However, I disagree with these reasons because one can get maid to help them in above situation. On the other hand, there are many along with me, who likes to keep home and workplace tidy for many reasons. To begin, keeping things organised in proper order makes life much easier as one can find their stuff without having to search for it. For instance, I always keep my things systematically, nevertheless, my relatives had visited our house and it had became messy due to many people in the house, which made me look for each and everything, which was also consumed my time and therefore I was late for my job. Moreover, keeping things in order makes home and workplace not only look better, but also makes a job quicker. For example, when my workplace was tidy and everything else was in order, it was super easy to serve my customers quickly. Finally, it creates good impression as people can see one is much organised person be it home or workplace. In conclusion, along with others I think keeping home and workplace orderly is important, as it saves time and place looks awesome as well as impress people.
It
is said
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that it is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
and home neat and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tidy
, with all things
systematically
in the proper place. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view for several reasons.

On the one hand, there are a few reasons why other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are on the flip side.
Firstly
, nowadays individuals are far too busy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
up with
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
and home.
For example
, my friends, who work in the marketing department hardly finds,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to clean up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
as well
as office,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is taken
by telemarketing and visiting customers.
Secondly
, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age are not able to perform their daily routine
properly
therefore
, unable to follow tidiness in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
Finally
, sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to maintain things orderly. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
was not able to do any work at home while she was suffering from malaria and her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
was in a mess until she recovered from it. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are going through such situations, they would not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
their home or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tidy
, while it is essential for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
it clean.
However
, I disagree with these reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
maid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in above situation.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
along with me, who likes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tidy
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, keeping things
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
in proper order
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life much easier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
one can find their stuff without having to search for it.
For instance
, I always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
my things
systematically
,
nevertheless
, my relatives had visited our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and it had became messy due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, which made me look for each and everything, which was
also
consumed my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
therefore
I was late for my job.
Moreover
, keeping things in order
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
look better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a job quicker.
For example
, when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tidy
and everything else was in order, it was super easy to serve my customers
quickly
.
Finally
, it creates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impression as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
one is much
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
person be it home or workplace.

In conclusion
, along with others I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
keeping home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
orderly is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, as it saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and place looks awesome
as well
as impress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
22Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people say it is important to keep your home and workplace tidy, with everything else organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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