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Many people nowadays are concerned about the level of air pollution created by the number of people using air travel. They suggest it may be safer for people to use alternative forms of transportation such as road transport. To extend do you agree that travel by road may be safer option? v.1

Many people nowadays are concerned about the level of air pollution created by the number of people using air travel. They suggest it may be safer for people to use alternative forms of transportation such as road transport. To extend do you agree that travel by road may be safer option? v. 1
There are those who say that travel by air produced air pollution and they suggest that ground transport must be a safer option. I mostly agree that travel by road is a better choice to reduce air pollution, I realize that there are other aspects to consider. This essay will examine the reason for my opinions. Numerous studies have consistently found that travelling by air produces massive carbon dioxide 4 times higher than cars. This leads to huge air pollution that pollutes the atmosphere and creates a greenhouse effect that becomes a main global warming problem. Consequently, ground transport such as public buses or trains must be a better solution. Furthermore, nowadays, many car factories such as BMW, Porsche or Mini Cooper turn to develop electric cars that don’t need any fossil fuel and use green energy from many sources of energy such as solar cells. This leads to a major decrease of air pollution and air travel can’t do this. Lastly, travel by ground transport is cheaper than air tickets with various destination choices and some types of ground travel don’t pollute any pollution such as bicycles, because it uses human energy to move forward and also beneficial to health. However, there are other aspects to consider. A large number of private cars can produce massive air pollution especially in the urban areas. For instance, Bangkok city has high air pollution over three months because of the density of cars on the roads. What is more, there are not enough public transports to cover all areas and people still need cars to travel. In conclusion, there are many reasons why travel by ground transport is a safer option to reduce air pollution, however, there are some issues to consider too.
There are those who say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pollution and
they suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a safer option. I
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by road is a better choice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, I realize that there are other aspects to consider. This essay will examine the reason for my opinions.

Numerous studies have
consistently
found that travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
produces massive carbon dioxide 4 times higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. This leads to huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
that pollutes the atmosphere and creates a greenhouse effect that becomes a main global warming problem.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
such as public buses or trains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a better solution.
Furthermore
, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
factories such as BMW, Porsche or Mini Cooper turn to develop electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
that don’t need any fossil fuel and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
green energy from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sources of energy such as solar cells. This leads to a major decrease of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
can’t do this.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is cheaper than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
tickets with various destination choices and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
don’t pollute any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
such as bicycles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
human energy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward and
also
beneficial to health.

However
, there are other aspects to consider.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can produce massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
especially
in the urban areas.
For instance
, Bangkok city has high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
over three months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the density of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the roads.
What is more
, there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
to cover all areas and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to travel.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is a safer option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
,
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues to consider too.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people nowadays are concerned about the level of air pollution created by the number of people using air travel. They suggest it may be safer for people to use alternative forms of transportation such as road transport. To extend do you agree that travel by road may be safer option? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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