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Some people say it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on the present. v. 1
Some people argue that having plans for the future is not as important as concentrating on the present since this activity is too time-consuming. Personally, I do not totally follow this idea because of the rationales following. First of all, to achieve the objectives that were set, a person needs to have a specific strategy. For example, in making any plans, he should think about how to pursue his aims, what he needs and who can support him. Therefore, making the best preparation that helps to have a solid foundation to follow and reach his dream is a must. If he wants to take a dream job, to illustrate, he should find out what skills or certificates needed in the field that he will contribute in the future to be qualified for it. Moreover, designing a plan is an efficient method for reducing the risks that may occur. For instance, on the path to success, people will definitely face with many difficulties that distract them. Hence, plans will help people handle flexibly in any situation so that the problems are able to be solved easier. Additionally, the risk of failure will be avoided. Take companies as the clearest evidence, prior to any campaigns, each association always conducts risk research to reduce the cost loss, thus it can receive a higher revenue which contributes massively to the achievement of it. As a result, corporations can have more time to focus fully on reaching their goals. To sum up, I believe planning is an effective way to assist everyone in setting a right track to success and refraining from causing problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
for the future is not as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as concentrating on the present since this activity is too time-consuming.
Personally
, I do not
totally
follow this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rationales following.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, to achieve the objectives that
were set
, a person needs to have a specific strategy.
For example
, in making any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
, he should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about how to pursue his aims, what he needs and who can support him.
Therefore
, making the best preparation that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to have a solid foundation to follow and reach his dream is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
. If he wants to take a dream job, to illustrate, he should find out what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or certificates needed in the field that he will contribute in the future to
be qualified
for it.

Moreover
, designing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
is an efficient method for reducing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
that may occur.
For instance
, on the path to success,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will definitely face with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties that distract them.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
handle
flexibly
in any situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the problems are able to
be solved
easier.
Additionally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of failure will
be avoided
. Take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
as the clearest evidence, prior to any campaigns, each association always conducts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
research to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cost loss,
thus
it can receive a higher revenue which contributes
massively
to the achievement of it.
As a result
, corporations can have more time to focus
fully
on reaching their goals.

To sum up, I believe planning is an effective way to assist everyone in setting a right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
to success and refraining from causing problems.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on the present. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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