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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits? v.18

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits? v. 18
Nowadays, most people of all age groups, especially young adults, are drawn to video games with the high technology developing year after year. Video game devices such as Play Station Four and Nintendo Wii are popular examples of high-tech devices. Although playing video games can be quite fun, it can also affect the player negatively. I believe that video games withhold cons more than pros. One of its adverse effects is that it is a waste of time. Playing video games is not much of a problem when limits are present, but most individuals exceed this limit. Some people put down a two-hour time limit for play but sadly end up playing for more hours and are not aware of time. Rather than spending one's time on such games, it is more beneficial to the individual to take the time to read books or even spend time on a favourite hobby, for instance, that will most probably lead it to evolve over the years. Another reason to support my opinion is that it lessens the human to human contact. Due to the hours taken on video games, the person will not have a normal social life where people speak face to face. A young adult playing, choosing to turn down going to the mall with friends where they will socialise, can be taken as an example. Modern games have many violent and devastating plots and game actions that can psychologically affect the players. The gamers suffer from various health problems and often are less social. To draw the conclusion, the positive sides of the video games are fewer when compared to the negative sides. Video gaming should be limited to certain hours and the rest of the time wasted should be replaced by socialising and activities that will benefit one’s future.
Nowadays, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of all age groups,
especially
young adults,
are drawn
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with the high technology developing year after year.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
game devices such as
This word is normally spelled as one.
Play Station
Four and Nintendo Wii are popular examples of high-tech devices. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be quite fun, it can
also
affect the player
negatively
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
withhold cons more than pros.

One of its adverse effects is that it is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is not much of a problem when limits are present,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most individuals exceed this limit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
put down a two-hour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
limit for play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
sadly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
for more hours and are not aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Rather
than spending one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, it is more beneficial to the individual to take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to read books or even spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
hobby,
for instance
, that will most
probably
lead it to evolve over the years.

Another reason to support my opinion is that it lessens the human to human contact. Due to the hours taken on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, the person will not have a normal social life where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
speak face to face. A young adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
, choosing to turn down going to the mall with friends where they will
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
, can
be taken
as an example. Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
violent and devastating plots and game actions that can
psychologically
affect the players. The gamers suffer from various health problems and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
are less social.

To draw the conclusion, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are fewer when compared to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
gaming should
be limited
to certain hours and the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wasted should
be replaced
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
and activities that will benefit one’s future.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits? v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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